What Hurts The Most
by Adrian Jade
Summary: Sequel to Small Town. Ashley is gone and John has to take care of Boston. This is his thoughts on being a father and loosing the love of his life. The title is based on the Rascall Flatts song What Hurts the Most.
1. Chapter 1

I looked back at Boston. The little boy was staring at him wide-eyed. He looked like he was about to cry. I couldn't really blame him I was a total stranger. His mother had just died and now he is dumped off with the poster child for immaturity.

"It's ok kid please don't cry" I said.

I had a seat on the couch. Boston walked over to me and just stood there.

"What's with you?" I asked.

He just stood there and blinked a few times.

"Yeah really smart John like he is going to answer you back" I chastised myself.

He motioned for me to pick him up. I sat him on the couch next to me, that was one of the most uncomfortable times of my life because all he did was stare at me.

"Say something" I said to him.

He gave me this look that would say what are you stupid I'm a baby. The silence was so thick I hate to use the expression that you could cut it with a knife but that is what it felt like. I was about ready to go stir crazy. Someone knocked on the door and I literally jumped out of my seat. I opened it and I have never been so glad to see Trademarc in my life.

"Hey man" I greeted Marc.

I stepped aside to let him into the room. As soon as Boston saw Marc he hopped off the couch and ran to him.

"Hey Monkey" Marc picked Boston up.

Boston began to babble happily, Marc looked like he only understood every third word. Marc gave me a confused look.

"How did you end up with him?" he asked.

"Adrian practically left him on my door step" I replied.

"Well it was in Ashley's will that if anything happened to her you got custody of Boston" Marc informed me.

"Why am I always the last to know everything!" I exclaimed.

"He's your son you should be happy" Marc said "some men actually fight to be able to raise their children"

"Marc I have seen this little boy once in the whole year that he has been alive, I don't know the first thing about raising a kid" I said "hell I'm still a kid myself"

"Bro I really hate to have to be the one to tell you this because I thought that Ashley would have said this to you a while ago but you really need to grow up and take some responsibility"

"I'm going out" I announced.

"What about your son?" Marc asked.

"You know him better than I do you take care of him" I slammed the door behind me.

I stood there for a moment just long enough to hear Marc tell Boston that his daddy would come to his senses someday. I never wanted this everything was fine, at least that is what I kept telling myself. In the back of my mind I always thought that I'd get Ashley back and that her, Boston and I would be a family but that will never happen now. I had no idea where I was going but wandering around aimlessly seemed to help me think. I was walking through this little park.

"I caught the ball daddy" I turned my head to where the voice had come from. A boy who looked to be about 5 was playing catch football with his dad and who I took to be his older brother. The football was cradled in his tiny arms, he was beaming.

"You did it Geoffrey" the father said. He picked the boy up and showered him with kisses. The scene before me was heartwarming. I caught myself wishing that that could be me and Boston in a few years.

"What am I thinking" I scolded myself "I can't raise him and as soon as I find Adrian Boston is going back to her"

After aimlessly walking for hours I made it back to the hotel. Marc was sitting on the couch reading a magazine.

"Bout time you got back" he said.

"I came back didn't I" I retorted.

"But the question is did you want to come back" Marc said.

"I don't know" I said "everything was fine before Ashley died"

"John that little boy needs you right now, you are his only living parent and I'm not saying that it is easy but Ashley did it so you can too"

"I travel 300 days a year how and I supposed to take care of him?" I asked.

"Well you got time to figure that out" Marc patted me on the back before leaving.

I sat down with my head in my hands and sighed.

"He will only be here a couple of days" I assured myself.

I ended up falling asleep on the couch. I woke up to Boston screaming crying.

I walked into the room where he had been sleeping.

"Shh you are going to wake up everyone on this floor" I said to him.

This only made him cry harder. His face was read from crying so hard. I picked him up and tried to do this awkward rocking motion.

"Are you hungry?" I asked him.

He just rubbed his eyes and shook his head.

"Mama" he sobbed.

"I know you miss your mom" I said "I miss her too"

"Shh"

Nothing seemed to be helping, I tried everything I could think of but nothing helped. So finally I just sat there and let him cry on my shoulder. Finally he cried him back to sleep, I wanted to cry myself. People say that the worst thing a person can ever go through is watch their child be in pain whether it be physical or mental and know you can do nothing to help them. That statement is totally true. I was in hell because he was.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked slowly into the arena, my clothes were a disheveled mess. I was wearing these dark sunglasses and if you saw me you would have sworn that I was on drugs. I had Boston's hand in mine but he was walking incredibly slowly. The first person I ran into was Shelton Benjamin.

"What the hell happened to you?" he asked.

"Rough night" I replied.

"Who's this little guy… your nephew?" Shelton asked.

I was about to say my son but when the words came out of my mouth I had said yeah he's my nephew.

"He's cute" Shelton said.

"I guess if you really look at him" I said.

"Mama" Boston said.

That had been the only word he had said since he had been with me. Every one in a while he would just randomly go mama.

"Where's his mom?" Shelton asked.

"She died about a week ago" I replied.

"I'm sorry for your loss man" Shelton said.

"Thanks" I said before Boston and I continued our way.

He stopped half way down the hall way and held his hands up to me. I sighed and picked him up. When we got the my locker room I put him down on the floor and rummaged through the bag Adrian had packed for him to find something for him to play with. I found a few toy cars and some other things. I was like to hell with it and just placed all his toys on the floor. The first thing he picked up was his binky.

'_Why couldn't we have found that last night?'_ I thought.

Once I was sure he was entertained I went about my business of getting ready for the show that night. Boston walked over to my belt and wanted to play with it.

"Boston no don't touch that" I told him.

He looked at me and smiled as he continued to touch the belt.

"Boston I said not to touch that" I said in a stricter tone.

Boston tried to pick the belt up but it was too heavy for him and he ended up falling over and bumping his head on the corner of the bench I had been sitting on. He began to cry.

"Come here" I said pulling him onto my lap. I checked to make sure he hadn't hit his eye.

"You are gonna have a bump tomorrow" I said.

He yawned and began to rub his eyes.

"You tired?" I asked "how about we both lie down on the couch"

I was lying on the couch and Boston was lying on my chest. I have to say this was a lot better than yesterday. I fell asleep thinking about the times Ashley and I used to lay like that.

I swear I only had my eyes closed for about 2 seconds. When I woke up my locker room was a mess. Boston had gotten into all my things and scattered them all over the floor and then he had sprayed my shaving cream all over the place. He was covered in it. The first thing I did was check his hands and arms to makes sure he hadn't cut himself with my razor which was also laying on the floor.

"Boston you I swear you are going to kill me" I said picking him up. I held away from me so my shirt wouldn't get covered with shaving cream.

Now where do I take him…? Trish I know she has nephews. Plus she knows Maddie and Adrian so she'll want to help.

"Please Trish I have to clean up my locker room and I can't do that and keep an eye on him at the same time" I begged.

"Maybe if you had kept an eye on him he wouldn't have made a mess" she replied.

"We had a rough night and I fell asleep it's not like I killed anyone" I said.

"Yes but your son could have seriously hurt himself while you were asleep" she scolded me for my carelessness. "he is 12 months old he doesn't know what is going to hurt him and what isn't"

"So will you watch him?" I asked her.

"Bring me some clean clothes and I'll bathe him and he looks hungry so bring his food over too" she said.

"Thank you Trish I owe you big time" I hugged her tightly.

"Don't get used to this Cena because I'm not Boston's mom he's your son, your responsibility" She said.

"I'm hearing that a lot lately" I said.

I brought over some clothes . Trish was bathing Boston at the time and they were both laughing. I felt a pang of jealousy Boston seemed so comfortable with Trish and part of me wished he could be like that with me.

I cleaned up my locker room and then it was time for my match. My back hurt afterwards I was facing Chris Master and he miscalculated and hit me right in my spine. He had apologized 100 times since then. I went to go pick up Boston from Trish. He was knocked out on the couch sucking his thumb.

"He's been pulling on his ear" Trish said "I think he is getting more teeth.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He only has 9 teeth" she said.

"Really I thought he would have more" I said.

"It depends on the kid" she said "he looks so much like Ashley when he sleeps"

"I didn't realize you knew Ashley" I said.

"Of course I did I met her at Randy and Maddie's wedding" she said "we kept in touch ever since… I couldn't believe it when I heard she had died"

"Sometimes bad shit happens to good people" I said. It sounded harsh and I hadn't meant for it to sound that way but Ashley's death still hurt too much and talking about it wasn't something I was ready to do at that moment.

"Yeah I guess" I said "well if you ever want to talk I'm here to listen"

"Thanks but I don't think I'll ever be ok to talk about it" I said.

I picked up Boston and carried him to my locker room. On the way he woke up and lifted his head to see who was carrying him. I guess he trusted me enough to go back to sleep. I walked into my locker room to find Randy sitting waiting for me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I came to see how you were" he said.

I placed Boston on the couch.

"How do you think I am the love of my life died and now I'm saddled down with a baby" I said.

"You are lucky Boston is a pretty easy baby" he said.

"He cried all night" I had to suppress my need to yell.

"Can you blame him?" Randy asked "not to mention you don't know how to get him to sleep"

"Ok Master how do you put him to sleep?" I asked sarcastically.

"I shouldn't tell you but you need to sing to him" Randy said "Ashley rocked him to sleep every night and she always sang the same song to him.

"I don't sing" I said.

Randy wrote down the words to the song and handed it to me "you will if you ever want to get a good night sleep again".

Boston started whining in his sleep. Randy went over to check on him.

"John come here and feel his head" Randy said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because he feels really hot to me" Randy said.

"As in feverish?" I asked.

"Duh dumbass" Randy replied.

I went over and placed my hand on Boston's forehead and sure enough he was really hot.

"What do we do?" I asked.

"Take him to a hospital" Randy said.

So that is how I spent my evening sitting in a hospital waiting room.

"Mr. Cena"

"Is my son ok?" I asked.

"Yeah his teeth caused his fever we gave him so Children's Tylenol that will help with the pain of his teeth and the fever"

"So can I take him home?" I asked.

"Yes"

Randy drove us back to my hotel and we went our separate ways. Boston was awake now.

"Ok it's bed time" I said to him.

I tucked him into bed he seemed to be looking at me, he knew what was missing.

I relented, I pulled the piece of paper out of my pocket.

"_I just climbed out of a cottonwood tree, I was runnin from some honey bees. Drip dryin in the summer breeze after jumping into Calico Creek._ _I was walkin down an old dirt road past a field of hay that had just been mowed. Man I wish you'd just left me alone. Cuz I was almost home." _

By the time I finished the song Boston was asleep. I sat and watched him sleep for a while. I felt his forehead the fever had gone down.

"I promised your grandfather that I would always be there for your mom and I broke that promise but it's going to be different" I said "I have no idea how to be a dad but if you are willing to bare with me then I will try to be the best dad I can be" I whispered to his sleeping form.

"You know when me and your mom were together, she gave me this really embarrassing nickname" I continued to talking to him "who would have thought that I would give anything to hear her call me it just one more time"

"She always thought I hated it but it never really bothered me but I know she'd love it if I gave the name to you. So good night my little Boo Berry" I kissed his forehead before lying down beside him.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I was suffering from writer's block really badly but then I ended up listening to the song Just the Two of us by Will Smith so all thanks can go to Will for this chapter.

Boston and I managed to get a full night sleep. He was the first one to wake up the next morning. He started to cry which woke me up right away, I thought he had fallen off the bed or something like that. I shot right up.

"Buddy are you ok?" I asked him.

It turns out he just wanted to get out of bed and was getting frustrated because he couldn't. I put him on the floor and he ran into the other room.

"Another day begins" I said to myself.

Boston was running around the living room like a man possessed. All you could hear was the clatter of his bare feet as the hit the hardwood floor. I grabbed him as he was running by.

"Hold up Speedy let's eat some breakfast before you wear out the floor" I told him.

He tried hard to slip out of my arms but I was too strong for him. Boston being his mother's son didn't take this lightly, he pouted and sulked.

"We need to eat" I said to him.

It was then I realized I had no idea what to feed him. That is when it hit me call my mom. She raised 5 boys she's bound to know what to feed him. I grabbed my cell out of my coat pocket and the minute I did Boston wanted to play with it. I dialed my mom's number.

"_Yes John"_ she said

"How'd you know it was me?" I asked.

"_Caller ID"_ she replied.

"Oh" was all I could say.

"_So what do you need?" _she asked.

"I have Boston and I have no idea what to feed him" I said.

"_He loves eggs so get him some eggs also he needs a bottle filled with the baby cereal and some fruit, he loves pineapple and pears" _she said.

"I'm glad one of us knows what he likes" I said glumly.

"_Give it some time Johnny you need to get to know him" _she said.

"I just realized I have no stuff for him at my house" I said.

"_Well go shopping when you get home" _she told me.

"Ok now how do I make his bottle?" I asked.

She explained how to make the bottle. She also advised me to make a couple of them because I would need them throughout the day. It was one of the rare days where I had nothing to do so I decided to go to the local mall and pick Boston up a few things. Of course I was going to enlist the help of a few of my female co-workers because I had no idea what to buy.

I invited Stacy, Ashley, and Trish to come with me. Trish seemed pleased that I was taking the first steps of preparing to make the radical change in my life.

"You know what this means John no more all night partying or getting drunk with your buddies" Trish said.

"I know" I replied.

We were walking around in Baby Gap.

"Trish no offense but I can't see myself wearing half of this stuff and if I won't wear it he shouldn't have to either"

"Well what is he going to wear jerseys and jeans shorts?" she asked.

"Yeah what's wrong with that" I said.

She just shook her head and sighed.

"Ashley would be turning over in her grave if she knew that you were turning her son into a mini you" Trish said.

"Are you forgetting that she dated me so she must have liked me the way I am" I pointed out.

"John it's fine for you but he is a little boy" she insisted.

"Fine" I just didn't want to fight with her anymore "but we can get him a few sports out fits and some Reeboks.

"Whatever you say" she replied.

Having a child is expensive I honestly couldn't believe it. There is so much stuff that we bought Boston that I never had as a kid. But I want him to have everything he needs, I owe Ashley at least that much.

"Hey Trish why doesn't Boston talk to me?" I asked.

"Give him some time just because he is little doesn't mean he's just going to open up to you" she said "he needs to make sure he can trust you"

"I guess I kinda deserve that I mean I haven't always been there for him or at all" I said. "I remember the first time I ever held him, he was so tiny my heart melted right then and there"

"I didn't realize you had ever seen Boston before a few days ago" she said.

"I went to the hospital right after he was born" I said "I'm not sure why I went but I just felt like I had to but then I looked at him and knew that I could never take care of him like we needed to be taken care of"

"You are doing it now"

"I still don't feel like I can do it" I admitted. "you aren't alone John people want to help you with him"

"Thanks I appreciate that I really do" I said.

"Just don't think we are going to do everything for you" she said "because we're here to help not take over"

"I get it I really do" I said.

"Well you son needs to go to sleep" Trish said "so leave and put him to bed"

Trish seemed like she really cared what happened to me and Boston unlike a certain aunt who had even called to see if her nephew was ok. I would soon come to regret those thoughts when I found out where Adrian really was but that is later on.

"What do you say Boo time for bed?" I asked.

He didn't fight which must have meant that he was really tired. I still hated singing that song but it really did work he was out like a light in no time. I laughed thinking about earlier it took me an hour to get the car seat correctly installed in my car. I looked at him closely.

"Poor kid you inherited my ears" I said.

That night I asked God to help me be a good dad for my son and for him to know that I would always be there for him for the rest of his life. Hopefully I wouldn't totally mess the kid up. But only time would tell.


	4. Chapter 4

"_Morning Johnny" Ashley said._

"_I could get used to waking up like this" I replied._

"_Oh can you now?" she asked in a seductive tone._

_Ashley had been sitting up but I had pulled her down and moved on top of her._

"_Yes really" he said before capturing her lips with his._

An alarm clock woke me up.

"What the hell" I groaned "I was having such a good dream"

Boston was standing up in his pack and play which he had slept in. He smiled when he saw I was awake.

"Morning Boo did you sleep well?" I asked him.

He just grinned and tried to climb up the sides of the pack and play.

"Hey you are gonna hurt yourself" I said picking him up.

I made him a bottle and fed him some of the fruit baby food. It was when I was giving him a bath I noticed something. Boston had a birthmark on his shoulder but the weird thing was I had the same on in the exact same place.

"Well there is no denying you are my son now" I said.

We played with the bath toys for another 10 minutes before I took him out of the bath tub. I was putting on his diaper when the little spawn of Satin pissed on me, let's just say I was a little pissed off but he seemed to think it was very funny. I got him dressed and put him back in his pack and play so I could take a shower. Trish was taking Boston and I to meet a friend of hers who ran a baby play group or something along those lines.

"Now remember John be nice because it took a lot of convincing to get my friend to meet with us, she isn't a fan of yours" Trish said.

"What the hell did I do?" I asked. "I haven't even met her yet"

"She thinks your heel character was an asshole and unfortunately it is very hard to change her mind when it is made up" Trish replied.

"So what's this chick's name?" I asked.

"Her name is Abigail Daniels but just call her Abby" Trish said.

"Whatever you say you are the boss" I said.

"This will give Boston a chance to be around other kids and it is 20 minutes from your house" she said "that's great but it's also the third time you have mentioned it".

"Just want to make sure that you know how good this is going to be for Boston" she said.

I looked into the back Boston was sleeping peacefully. I smiled at the sight of him.

"You really love him don't you?" Trish asked.

"He's my son" I said.

"Why admit it now?" she asked "why not when he was born?"

"He's all I have left of Ashley now" I said.

Trish seemed to accept my answer or if she didn't she chose not to press it any further.

"We're here" she said.

The building didn't look to impressive or at least to me it didn't just another brick building. The side was like waking up on crack everything was a swirl of bright colors, it hurt my eyes.

"Hurts the first few times" Trish said after noticing my distress.

"Thanks for the warning" I said sarcastically.

"And miss the look on your face never" she said "now let's go".

She dragged me to a slight of stairs and then up them. I could hear music playing from the floor above. Trish led me to the door.

"Now remember be open minded" she said.

"I will" I replied having no idea what I was walking into.

The room was filled with little kids… big surprise right… but they were dancing. There was about 12 girls and 5 boys. Some looked a few years older than Boston but there were a few who looked to be his age.

"OH… HELL NO" I yelled.

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to stare at me.

"What the hell is this Trish?" I asked "you said this was a play group"

"Well it is kinda" She said hesitantly.

"No this is a dance class" I said.

"It's a class for babies both my nephews took it and loved it" she insisted.

"My son won't be taking dance classes" I said.

"John you played football correct?" Trish asked.

"Yes" I replied not knowing where she was going with this.

"You have to learn foot work in football right I mean if you aren't standing the right way the play won't work right?" she asked.

"…I guess" I said.

"Well don't you think it would have been easier if your parents had signed you up for a class like this" she pointed out.

"NO!" I exclaimed.

"John just give it a chance Abby is the best dancer teacher… her kids have grown up to dance in some pretty cool videos"

"What kind of videos?" I asked.

"I know 20 percent dance in hip hop videos… she trained two who dance for Missy Elliot" Trish said,

Boston started fussing in my arms he wanted to get down. I set him down on the floor, he watched the other kids dance. I had to admit they were good for such young kids.

"Ok everyone snack time" I heard a woman said.

The same woman came over and embraced Trish. She was fine… what the hell was I thinking Ashley had just died?

Then she went over to the baby. She kneeled down so she was his height.

"Hi you must be Boston" she said.

Boston smiled at her.

"Come on sweetie we'll go get you a snack with the other kids" she said reaching out for Boston's hand. Boston accepted and they walked away.

"Where is she taking my son?" I asked. I knew he wasn't in any harm I just wanted to be a pain in the ass to Trish for tricking me, "she could be kidnapping him".

"John… shut up" Trish said.

I opened my mouth to say something but she put her hand up signaling that she didn't want to hear it. Abby came back over but she didn't have Boston.

"Umm … where's my son?" I asked.

"He's with Brandi my assistant" Abby replied. "now let's get down to business I know you don't like the thought of putting your precious son in a dance class. Most dads are but they eventually come around and are happy about their sons enjoying themselves"

I listened to what she had to say the class sounded like it would be a lot of fun for Boston.

"The class in 3 times a week and depending on the parents kids spend anywhere from 30 minutes to 4 hours here" she explained.

"How am I going to get Boston here if I'm traveling?" I asked.

"Your mom is willing to take care of him" Trish replied.

"So you just expect me to drop my son off with my mother and be ok with it?" I asked.

"You had no problem doing it with his mother" Abby commented.

I stood up from the chair that I was sitting in "You have no idea what you are talking about…" I began but before I could finish my statement Trish pulled me out of the room promising to pick Boston up in a while when I "had a cooler head" she said.

"Who the hell does she think she is…"I vented.

I was so mad that I could barely phrase sentences. I was normally an easy going guy. Very hard to piss off but that one statement hurt.

"She didn't mean it John and besides I told you she didn't like you" Trish said.

"How does she know about Ashley?" I asked.

"I might have mentioned it" Trish said hesitantly.

"WHY?" I almost exploded.

"She wanted to know about his background if she was going to be his teacher she had that right" Trish said "it's standard procedure".

"Trish I am very upset right now just drive me to the nearest gym" I said.

She did what I asked her. As the usual custom when I'm mad I almost hurt myself by pushing my body too hard.

"Who do Trish and this Abby person think they are?" I asked myself while hitting a punching bag "they know nothing about my relationship with Ashley or how much I love Boston"

After a while my arms were getting tired and sore. I looked at my watch it was about time to pick up my son from … The Bitch. I'm not sure why but I got some comfort from calling her that.

Trish had left me the car so I drove back to the building. This time when I entered I wore sunglasses inside the building. It was almost 4 now I had dropped Boston off two hours ago.

Other parents were there. Boston ran over to me when he saw me.

"Hey Boo Berry did you have fun?"

"Well let's go home" I said.

"So John will Boston be coming back?" Abby asked sweetly. She wore a smirk that would make even Orton want to smack her.

"I'll think about it" I answered irritably.

"See you next time little guy" Abby said tickling Boston's stomach.

"Stay away from women like that son because they are evil and they will trap guys like us and make us pray for death" I told him as I was walking out.

A/N: Don't worry Adrian will be back but not for a while but I promise you'll all find out what she has been doing since she left Boston with John.


	5. Chapter 5

"Boston who am I?" I asked.

He just looked at me. He had been living with me for over a month and he still hadn't called me Dada or Daddy. In fact he didn't really call me anything he just pointed to what he wanted or cried to get my attention.

"Come on say Dada" I pleaded with him.

Boston just laughed at me.

"You know what you are evil" I said.

Luckily for me it was time for Boston to go to his "group". My brothers reamed me so badly when they found out Boston was in a dance class but he really seemed to like it he had friends and everything. I even noticed a few older girls giving him the eye, that made me so proud.

"Ok go give Grandma a kiss and then we will leave" I told him.

He ran into the kitchen where my mother was.

"Ok baby have fun today" I heard my mother say.

"Be careful driving" she advised me.

"Ma it's sunny and clear out and I'm a good driver" I said.

"Just do as I say"

"I'll be back in a while" I said.

She kissed us both and we left. When we finally got there I was still a little irritated about the whole dada thing.

"Hey Boston" Abby said sweetly. She had taken an instant liking to my son which was a good thing and he seemed to like her just as much.

"John" she said.

I mumbled irritably in return.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" she asked.

Oh yes Abby had taken in upon herself to make my life a living hell whenever we saw each other.

"Not that it is any of your business but Boston doesn't call me daddy or dada… nothing"

"So what does he call you asshole perhaps?" she asked.

"Here I go telling you a serious problem and you have to turn it into a big god damn joke… gah no wonder you are still single"

"Watch it Cena I may be a girl but I could kick your ass any day" She said.

"Name a time and a place and the CHAMP will be there" I taunted her.

She just rolled her eyes and pushed me out of the room.

"Get lost! pick Boston up later or you know what don't come at all just send your mom" she said "it is apparent that she didn't teach you to be nice to others"

"Oh she did I just choose not to be nice to you" I replied.

She shut the door in my face and locked it so I couldn't get back in.

"Oh nice what if there were kids trying to get in there and they couldn't because the door was locked" I yelled.

"All my students are already in here" she yelled back.

"Well what if there was an emergency and the parents needed to pick up their kids but couldn't because the door was locked"

"Will you just leave already!" She exclaimed.

"Fine I'm going" I said.

I walked out of the building with a smile. Abby and I hated each other with a passion and we let each other know it frequently but she was a good influence on Boston which is the only reason she was still around.

It was a nice day so I decided to just drive around for a while. I hadn't just drove around aimlessly since the day Ashley told me she was pregnant. I hated the fact that she was gone, I never got to say goodbye or that I loved her or even that I was sorry for being such a prick to her. If I could go back in time I would change the very moment where she told me I was going to be a father. I would have stayed and been a man.

I blamed myself for Ashley's death… if I had been there or even if I had given her child support she wouldn't had to work in a bar and she might still be alive right now. Those thoughts stayed with me my every waking hours and even sometimes I dream about it. It's always the same dream I watch her die and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I wake up screaming at night, I don't wish my life upon my worst enemy. Boston and my job are the only good things I have going for me. Sometimes I would look at Boston and see Ashley through his eyes… I owe her so much and I have no idea where to start. My cell phone began to ring.

"Hello" I said not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"_Do you have any idea what time it is?" _Abby asked.

"Time to change my cell phone number" I mumbled. But then I looked at the time.

"Oh shit" I cursed "I'll be there in 20 minutes"

"_You'd better be"_ She said.

I drove a little about the speed limit to get to Abby's building. I was an hour and a half late picking Boston up. I pulled up in front of the building, Abby and Boston were waiting outside for me.

"I am so sorry I lost track of time" I apologized.

"Don't tell it to me tell it to your son" she replied.

"Daddy is sorry buddy" I picked him up and hugged him close.

"Dada" Boston finally said.

The minute I heard that beautiful word I began smiling from ear to ear. I looked at Boston but I was at a loss for words.

"Did you hear that?" I finally managed to ask Abby.

"Yeah I did" she said "maybe there's hope for you daddy"

I watched her walk away.

"You know Boo I hate seeing her leave but I love watching her go"

I put Boston in his car seat and drove home. The first thing I did when we walked in the door was call everyone I knew and had Boston say dada over and over again. He seemed to like all the attention he was getting. But after a while he seemed to get cranky.

"Ok daddy has made you suffer enough time for bed"

I carried him upstairs to his crib. I changed his diaper and put clean pajamas on him.

"Ok bedtime" I said.

We were sitting in his rocking chair.

"What do you say we skip the song and I tell you a story instead" I suggested.

"Nooo" he whined.

"Well you have a full vocabulary tonight don't you" I said.

He climbed off my lap and walked over to his dresser. He kept pointing to the top of it. I had no idea what he wanted to I went over and picked him up. He grabbed the picture of me and Ashley that I had on the dresser.

"You miss mama don't you?" I asked.

He nodded and rubbed his face against my shirt.

"Mama's here with us little man just cuz you can't see doesn't mean she ain't there and she loves you very much"

I put the picture back and rocked Boston to sleep.

There were times usually really late at night or early in the morning when I would sit and think about my life and what I want out of it. Some would say I have everything but that isn't true because no matter what I do or if I become the WWE Champion a million times Ashley would never again be there to share the joy with me and that hurt worse than any punch or kick or botched wrestling move that I might receive. Being alone is What Hurts The Most.


	6. Chapter 6

The WWE was in the Caribbean for a week which was a great thing because I got to relax and spend sometime on the beach. I took Boston and my old man with me. It was early in the after noon and we were chilling on the beach, pops had fallen asleep and Boston and I decided to "accidentally" cover him with sand. It was more me who decided but Boston laughed so if I was gonna get busted then I was taking him down with me.

"Hey it's my favorite nephew and the jackass" Maddie said.

Boston jumped into Maddie's arms he seemed really glad to see his aunt again. Me I was less than thrilled Maddie hated just as much as Adrian did… so you can see the awkwardness there was at the time.

"Boy if you get any bigger Auntie isn't going to be able to pick you up anymore"

"He takes after his dad" I said with a smile.

"I don' t know John I think he might be smarter than you are" she said as she put Boston back down on the sand.

"Let's hope so" I replied.

"Smart enough not to leave his baby's mama when she needs him the most"

Here we go again what is with Ashley's family don't they understand that I made a mistake.

"What I did in the past was inexcusable but I'm trying to make up for it now" I said as patiently as I can.

"So are you telling me that if Ashley was **still** alive you'd **still **be in Boston's life?" she asked. She put a really big emphasis on still.

"What do you want me to say Maddie I'm sorry, I have to live with Ashley's death for the rest of my life and the fact that I know Boston does too should be punishment enough" the last part was barely above a whisper.

"It should be but it doesn't seem to be" she said.

Boston must have sensed the tension and while Maddie and is were "discussing things" he wandered of.

"Where's Boston?" I asked when I finally noticed he was missing.

"He was just here!" Maddie exclaimed.

"We have to find him" I said as calmly as I could but inside I was scared shitless.

I got the old man up and he was less than pleased to be covered in sand but he was more worried about his grandson to be too pissed. The first thing we did was get a lifeguard. I was going out of my mid with worry about him going near the water by himself, I didn't even know if he could swim.

"Boston" I yelled.

I could hear Maddie yelling his name ahead of me. I ran my hand through my hair and wanted to pull it out. How could I have let him out of my sight? He's the only connection I have left to Ashley and if I loose him to I don't know what I'd do.

Maddie and I found him at the same time. Shelton Benjamin was holding him. I reached them first and Maddie was right behind me.

"Cena there you are I found you nephew all by himself" he said.

When Shelton said my nephew Maddie's face went from it's normal color to red in like 3.5 seconds.

"Hold up did he just say your nephew…please tell me you didn't tell people he was your nephew" Maddie said.

"Maddie let me explain" I tried but she wasn't hearing any of it.

"No John… you have done some shit for brains things but this one takes the cake" she yelled "my sister fought to bring that little boy into the world, she quit her job which she loved to be a parent to YOUR SON, she died coming home from her dead end job… you know what I can even look at you right now"

She took Boston from Shelton and began to walk away.

"Where are you taking him?" I asked.

"away from you" was her reply.

I wanted to grab my son from her right then and there but she was right calling Boston my nephew was a stupid move so I just let her go.

"Did I miss something?" Shelton asked.

"Yeah" I answered. "I'd tell you about it but I end up looking like a jackass"

My dad who had been watching all of this stood with his arms crossed smirking.

"What could be even remotely funny about what just happened?" I asked.

"Only you would do something that stupid" he said.

"Thanks for the support dad" I said.

"Being a parent isn't easy John if it was more people would have kids" he said.

"I know that dad" I said.

"What Maddie said was true Ashley went through hell on earth to bring that little boy into the world, so cherish him… but cherish him even more because he is the only living reminder of Ashley we have"

"I have a headache, I'm going to head back to the hotel" I said "are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah I'll be fine" he said.

I got back to the hotel and collapsed on the bed. But then I got up again and went over to get something out of my bag. I carried 4 pictures around with me everywhere I went. One was of me and Ashley during happier times, Ashley and Boston, Me and Boston and finally one of Boston by himself. I couldn't help but wish there was a picture of all 3 of us.

I looked at all the pictures and smiled. Remembering those times helped ease the constant pain. I fell asleep instantly.

Dream

_I was in a park. It was spring time and everything was green._

"_I always loved this time of year" Ashley said._

"_What…how… oh god no"_

"_Relax you are just asleep" she said._

"_Ok I feel better now" I said. "why are you visiting me now… I mean why not sooner?"_

"_I have my reasons" she replied. "you needed to focus on Boston at first but now you need to focus on yourself John"_

"_What do you mean?" I asked._

"_Boston needs a mother" she said._

"_You are his mother" I said._

"_You know what I mean he needs someone with him right now and I can't do that"_

"_I don't want anyone else"_

"_Spending the rest of you lie alone isn't going to make either of us happy, it's ok to love again" she said. "I may have been your first love but don't let me be your last"_

"_Boston and I are ok on our own" I assured her._

"_Sure it's fine now but what about when Boston grows up and you are going to be alone again, I know you are still grieving but don't grieve forever… John you are an amazing person and I was lucky enough to have been able to love you, there is someone else out there that is also lucky enough to deserve you" she said "like maybe Abby"_

"_Oh hell no I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole"_

_Ashley laughed. It felt good to hear her laugh again._

"_I'm sorry for everything I did to you if I could only take it back I would" I said._

"_Don't talk like that I've forgiven you now you need to forgive yourself"_

"_I'm trying" a few tears escaped my eyes I knew she was leaving me soon and I didn't want her to. She wiped the tears away from my eyes._

"_Don't cry heaven's amazing and in a while I'll have you all to myself again"_

"_I'll wait my whole life for you" I said._

"_I know you will but give Abby a chance" she said "most people only have one soul mate but you John you have a chance to have two… take it"_

"_I love you Shel" I said._

"_I love you too Boo Berry, take care of our son make sure he grows up to be a good man" she gave me one last passionate kiss._

"_Goodbye" she whispered and then she was gone._

end of dream

I opened my eyes, it was dark out now. The doors the lead out to the terrace were open and a light breeze was coming in. I walked out onto the terrace and gazed at the stars.

"Heaven's amazing" I smiled. Hopefully she was right.


	7. Chapter 7

"Boston please stop running" I said for the second time "you don't wanna fall"

Boston just turned 2 yesterday and he was now into everything. Much to my dismay he was exactly like me as a child. Let's just say I have apologized to my parents multiple times for my actions as a kid.

I ran after him and scooped him up in my arms and kissed his cheek. He laughed.

"No daddy" he whined.

"You don't want to get all banged up before your birthday party do you?" I asked.

"No" he answered. No was his new favorite word.

Boston was getting so big now he really didn't look like a baby anymore, he was a little boy now. People say he looks like me but all I see is his mother in him. There was always mischief in those big blue eyes of his but then again look who his parents are. His hair was on the longish side, it went a little ways past his ears. I wanted to cut it but my mother said there would be hell to pay if I cut his "beautiful blonde hair" as she put it. I decided to live with it a little while longer before I had Trademarc fix it up.

"So who do you want to go to your party?" I asked him.

He seemed to be thinking hard for a minute.

"Daddy" he said.

"Yes daddy is going to your party" I said "who else"

"Gamma Carwol" he said.

"What friends do you want?" I asked.

"Kewlesy" he said.

"Kelsey and Briana… what about Julian and Quinn" I asked.

"Yeah" he said "Unca Rany"

"Uncle Randy and Auntie Maddie will be there" I said "what about Nick and Morgan and all your friends from dance class"

"Abby come me birthday daddy?" he asked.

"We can ask her" I said.

"Otay daddy" he said.

"Boston what kind of cake do you want for your party?" I asked.

"Nilla wif Pooh on it" he said.

"Vanilla with Pooh on it good choice" I said.

"Daddy, mommy come me party?" he asked.

"Boo, mommy is in Heaven she can't come to your party" I explained.

"Otay daddy" Boston said sadly.

He had found a tape that his mom had made for him when he was a newborn and he asked to watch it everyday. He's seen that tape over 100 times but he still loved watch "mommy".

"Daddy's friends from work are bringing their kids so you'll have so many friends to play with" I said.

That seemed to cheer him up a little bit.

"Cheer up Boo the birthday boy can't be sad" I said.

"Me hungry" he said.

"Ok let's go inside and I'll make some Mac and Cheese" I suggested.

"Yay! Mac and Cheeps is my favorite" he clapped his little hands together in excitement.

"Daddy knows it's your favorite that is why I make it for you all the time" I replied.

Dinner consisted of Mac and Cheese and hotdogs, Boston and I seemed to eat this a lot because my cooking skills stopped there. My mother got into the habit of making food and then freezing it so I could heat it up at a later date.

"Boo is your ear bothering you?" I asked later that night.

I had noticed that he had been pulling on his left ear all day but since it was Sunday nothing could be done about it.

"Uh huh" he said.

"Well I'll take you to the doctor's tomorrow morning" I told him "they'll give you some medicine to make you ear feel better"

"No" he yelled "no doca, doca give me shot"

"Honey you won't be getting a shot tomorrow I promise" I said.

"Otay daddy" he said.

"Now it's PJ time and then bed"

I dressed Boston in a pair of red football pajamas and he grabbed his bear and got into bed.

"You got Wuvvi?" I asked him.

Wuvvi was his bear that he has had since birth, his mom bought it for him.

"Yep" he replied.

We did our normal bed time rituals and now it was time for kisses and lights out.

"Night Boo Berry" I said giving him a kiss.

I was about to turn out the light and leave the room when he stopped me.

"Daddy you gots to give Wuvvi kisses too" he said.

I laughed, who would have thought John Cena would ever have to kiss a teddy bear goodnight.

"You are right how could I forget to give Wuvvi a kiss" I said lightly smacking myself on the forehead.

"You silly Daddy" Boston laughed.

I went back over to the bed.

"Sorry Wuvvi" I said to the bear. I kissed the bear.

"Ok we all set now?" I asked.

"Yep" Boston said and then yawned.

"Good night boys" I said shutting off the light.

I picked up the phone and dialed an all too familiar number.

"_Hi you reached Abby I'm not home right now but if you leave you name and number I'll call you back" _her answering machine said.

"Hey Abby it's John no need to call me back it's just that Boston's birthday party is on Saturday and I know he'd really like it if you went but then again you don't have to" I said "and don't think that I want you there cuz I don't, it's just that Boston does… so you know what forget it don't come"

I hung up the phone. How could leaving a message on Abby's answering machine be so frustrating. I had no idea ,but what I did know is that Ashley was dead wrong when she told me to give Abby a chance.


	8. Chapter 8

Saturday was the perfect day to have a party. The sun was out and the temperature was in the 70's, which anyone from Massachusetts can be thankful for. I had rented a moon bounce and a few ponies to entertain the kids. My father was thrilled to see 3 ponies being brought into his backyard.

"John I'm telling you if those horses do anything to destroy my yard it will be your ass" my father warned me.

"Fabo, relax its cake… besides it's your grandson's birthday, have a beer and take a seat".

He grabbed a drink and sat down on the couch mumbling what I believed to be curses in my direction. I laughed as Boston jumped into his lap and began chatting his ear off.

"Boston take a breath" I said to my son. He stuck his tongue out at me.

"Do it again and I'll cut it off" I teased.

"Jackass" he replied. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and looked at him.

"Boston Anthony John Mercer where did you learn that word" I yelled.

"Atie Maddie call you it" he said with tears in his eyes.

I took him for my father and hugged him.

"It's ok Boo that's a bad word, don't say it again" I told him.

"Otay daddy I tell Atie Maddie she says bad words and they are bad"

"You do that when she gets here" I said putting him down. He ran off to go play with one of the kids that had just arrived. It was still early and not many people were here yet.

"Are you going to change his last name?" Sean asked.

"I've thought about it but I'm not sure … maybe when he is a little bit older" I said.

I had thought about changing Boston's last name but then again it was Ashley's. But then I would think if we were together at the time when he was born he would have my last name, and that she would still be alive and we'd get married. Sometimes I thought so hard about that specific subject, that if it were possible my brain would start bleeding.

Boston's friend Nicole arrived along with her mother… who seemed to have a thing for me, the feelings weren't shared. Connie Homes (not relation to Katie believe me I asked) was good looking but right now at this point in my life romance was the furthest thing from my mind.

"Hey John" she said flirtatiously.

"Hi" I replied.

"So what time do you want me to pick her up?" Connie asked, making sure her shirt was down low enough for me to see something.

Sometimes I really wondered if the world was going to hell, she is trying to give me a show at my son's birthday party.

"Umm we're eating at 5 so anytime after that" I said.

"No problem" she said.

She gave her daughter a kiss and told her to be good and as she was walking out she blew me a kiss, I wanted to gag but that would be impolite.

"Seems like you are getting a little action"

I turned around to see Abby.

"Bite your tongue" I scoffed.

She laughed a little at my distress.

"Did you come here to mock me?" I asked.

"Hey you invited me" she said "and no… I even brought a gift"

She lightly threw it at my chest.

"Boston, Abby is here come say hi" I yelled.

He came running over and gave Abby a hug. Then he went back over to his group of friends. For a 2 year old he has a lot of friends. I caught Abby watching me out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't help but like the feeling.

Abby was beautiful there was no denying that. Her caramel colored skin and brown eyes suggested a mixed background. She was the athletic type or so her body portrayed her as. Ashley had been the same way the last time I had seen her.

"So like what you see?" I asked.

Abby seemed shaken for a brief second but she played it off nice

"Well I would if I wasn't looking at you" she replied.

'_Nicely played' _I thought.

"Sure whatever you say" I walked away.

Later on I found her talking to Maddie (not a good thing). I really didn't want to know what they were discussing. But I went over to them anyways.

"Madeline something to discuss with you" I said.

"Yes Jackass what is it" she said.

"Well you see your 2 year old nephew called me a jackass earlier and when I asked him where he heard that word he said Auntie Maddie"

"Aww I wish I was here… I always miss the good things" she faked whined.

"Seriously please be more careful I don't want him going to school and saying those words"

"Fine" she said "I agree with you and I'm sorry but you still are a jackass"

"Yeah… yeah whatever" I said.

"So how long have you known John?" Maddie asked Abby.

I had walked away but I was still within hearing range talking to my dad.

"I've known him a little over a year, Boston is in my dance class" Abby replied.

"So has he tried to sleep with you yet?" Maddie asked.

I shot her a glare which basically meant cut the shit. She grinned back at me. Abby laughed.

"No and I don't want him too"

I shook my head and walked away.

"I just do that to annoy him but in reality he loved my sister very much" Maddie said "as much as I dislike him I have to admit I'm impressed at how much he has changed"

"Have you always not liked him?" Abby asked.

"No there was a time when my whole family thought John and my sister were going to get married but then John fucked it up" Maddie said.

'_That's right I fucked everything up' _I thought bitterly.

After we ate dinner Boston was really anxious to have the cake and open presents.

"Now daddy?" he asked for the 5th time.

"Ok cake time" I yelled.

Boston was jumping up and down now. He had a seat poor little guy had to sit on his knees to reach the table. We sang to him and I helped him cut his cake. Boston being the wise guy that he is decided to stick his hand in his piece of cake and wipe it all over my face.

"That's it Boo it's on" I said and that was the beginning of the biggest food fight I had ever been apart of.

Parents came to pick up their kids who had food all over them and all the kids kept saying was they wanted to come and play at Boston's house again. Let's just say some parents won't be letting their kids near my son for a while. Boston seemed to have a good time.

"Ok Boo medicine time" I said. This was after I bathed him and pressed him in a pair of red feetie pajamas with footballs on them.

Boston and I were in the kitchen. I grabbed the medicine out of the fridge and began to shake the pink bubblegum tasting liquid. I was surprised that Boston didn't fight me he just sat down and opened his mouth. I had never had a reason to give him medicine before so this was new to me.

My mother walked in as I was about to feed Boston his medicine.

"No!" she exclaimed knocking the spoon and it contents to the floor.

Both Boston and I were startled.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked wiping the medicine off of my sleeve.

"He's allergic to penicillin" she informed me "you could have literally just killed him.

My face fell as the seriousness of the situation sunk in.

"Oh my god was all I could say"

"Who the hell did you take him to?" she asked in a fit of outrage" what kind of half assed doctor would give medicine to a child who has a serious allergic reaction to it"

"I am the worst parent in the world" I sank into a chair "I was just going to feed him his medicine without a care in the world"

"You didn't know" she put her hand on my shoulder.

Boston climbed into my lap and I ran my fingers through his hair because I knew he loved that.

"You did… I'm his father I should know these things" I insisted.

"That may be true but look at you John, you have grown up in such a short time… believe me there was a time I was really worried about you but now I couldn't be more proud"

Knowing my mother was proud of me lifted my spirits a little.

"You used to party till all hours of the night but now you enjoy sitting around playing with your son"

"I still go out I just don't drink as much" I pointed out.

"John you were a selfish inconsiderate jerk who I thought about disowning more than once but since Boston entered your life you have become such a better person" she said

"But at what cost?" Boston was half asleep in my arms.

"Someone has had a very long day, I'll take him and get him ready for bed go hang out with your friends"

I handed him over and went outside there were still some people over mainly family and friends and Abby was still there she happened to be talking to my cousin. I had a seat and closed me eyes.

"I'm impressed" Abby said.

"About what?" I asked.

"When I first met you I honestly thought you didn't care but I am happy to admit I was wrong" she replied.

"I care… sometimes too much" I said.

My mother brought Boston back out. "He wanted to say good night"

I took him from her and kissed his forehead.

"I love you Boo and have good dreams"

"I wuv you daddy" Boston said.

"Grandma is gonna put you to bed ok" I said.

"No you" he said.

"Boo come on I put you to bed all the time" I said.

"No … you" he insisted.

"Fine" I relented.

I read and sang to him, tucked him in and gave both him and the bear a kiss.

"Ok night Boo" I said.

He mumbled something in his sleep.

I went and sat on the porch.

"You have a nice singing voice" Abby said.

"I guess" I replied. I shrugged.

"So what's the deal with you?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"How did you start doing what you do?" I asked.

"Well I had been dancing all my life and when it came time to decide what I wanted to do I knew I loved to dance and that I loved kids so I tried to find some way to combine them" she explained "my mom freaked out but my dad was happy for me"

"My mom was the same way" I laughed a little "she kept saying that I was going to break my neck"

"So what's going on between you and Connie Homes?" Abby asked.

I cringed "I have no idea what she thinks but there is nothing going on… I don't want anything going on with anyone, Ashley was the love of my life and I royally fucked that up, I don't feel like I deserve to be in a relationship" I put my head in my hands.

"Don't think that way" she forced me to look at her "you are a good man John don't forget that"

"Aww doesn't this look cute" I recognized the venomous tone right away.

Maddie, who had seen the intruder arrive, came over to us.

"Adrian, what are you doing?" Maddie asked cautiously.

"What's the matter little sister didn't you miss me?" Adrian seemed different. Even Maddie seemed a little bothered by Adrian's presence.

"When were you released?" Maddie asked.

"About a moth ago" she replied "thanks for the letters by the way"

"Ok what the hell is going on?" I asked.

"Oh so you don't know" Adrian said "goodie… I've been in a mental hospital for the past year"

The blood drained from my face.

"Apparently trying to kill yourself merits a stay in one"

"Adrian please you are scaring people" Maddie reasoned.

"Relax I'm not staying I just came to let John know that I'm taking Boston back…"

A/N: Ok I'm done with this chapter. A new update will be soon. Oh and if anyone is interested to know what Boston looks like there is a link in my profile that goes to my myspace page. Go to the pics and look at the ones labled Nicholas. You don't have to just thought I would put the option out there.


	9. Chapter 9

My stomach felt like someone had thrown rocks inside it.

"There is no chance in hell you are getting custody of Boston" I stated.

"Johnny… Johnny … Johnny do you actually believe that the courts are going to give custody of that sweet little boy to you when your name isn't even on the birth certificate?" Adrian asked.

"He's my son" I said.

"Well where were you the first year of his life?" she asked.

"Where were you his second?" I countered.

"You know very well where I was" she said.

The next day

"I'm sorry Mr. Cena there isn't anything we can do to contest this" my lawyer James Scott said.

"This is my son we're talking about there has to be something we can do" I said.

"The court has no way of knowing that because your name isn't on Boston's birth certificate" James pointed out.

"Can't we have a DNA test done?" I asked.

" The court won't wait that long" he said.

"But she just got out of a mental hospital surely there has to be something about that we can use" I said.

"All of her test and examinations indicate that she is mentally capable to take care of Boston and that her suicide attempt was caused by the grief of loosing her sister and not some mental illness"

"So what do you suggest I do?" I asked.

"The best thing would be joint custody because if we bring this to trial Adrian will bury you"

I let out a frustrated sigh "why does this have to be happening … I can't loose my son and I shouldn't have to"

"Like I said joint custody is the best option, if you truly want to do what is best for that little boy"

"What are the chances of winning it if we go to trial?" I asked.

"Honestly … slim to none" he replied "Adrian is very good at what she does and she will use the fact that you left her pregnant sister against you and the judges tend to be more sympathetic to the sister who put her life on hold to help out her sister"

"Fine make the call!" I yelled.

James knew me by now to know that I wasn't necessarily yelling at him.

"Ok" he said.

The next day I packed some of Boston's stuff and got him ready for Adrian to pick him up.

There was a knock on the door. I opened it and had to resist the urge to slam it in Adrian's face.

"Come in" I guess.

"Thanks" she said.

"Boo come here a minute" I yelled. Boston was in his room playing with his toys.

"What daddy?" Boston asked emerging from his room.

Upon seeing the new visitor Boston hid behind my leg.

"Boo are you being shy?" I asked him.

"Uh huh" was his muffled reply.

"Boston stop it" I said.

I pulled him to stand in front of me. Adrian kneeled down to his level.

"Hi Boston, do you remember me?" she asked him.

He shook his head no.

"I'm your Auntie Adrian, your mommy was my sister"

Boston looked at me. All I could do was offer him a smile.

"You know something you are so big now, because the last time I saw you, you were a baby"

"I a big boy now" Boston said proudly.

"You sure are" she said "well we'd better get going it's a long drive"

I kneeled down to Boston's height. He looked at me.

"Ok Boston I want you to be a good boy for your aunt ok" I said.

Boston looked at me like I was crazy. Adrian went to pick him up. Boston's eyes got wide when he realized she was taking him away. He started to fight.

"Daddy" he cried holding out his little arms to me.

"It's ok Boo I'll see you in a week"

He was hysterical by now.

"Give him to me" I said taking him from Adrian.

After a few minutes he quieted. He laid his head on my shoulder and began sucking his thumb.

"Daddy's got you" I rocked him in little circle motions.

"John we really need to go" Adrian said.

"Can't you see he is scared give me a few minutes to explain this to him" I snapped.

I sat Boston down on the couch and took a seat myself. He scooted over so he was sitting as close to be as possible. His eyes never left Adrian.

"Boo listen to me" I said.

He looked at me.

"You are gonna go stay with your aunt for a little while" I explained.

"No I stay with you" he said.

"You can't" I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because your aunt loves you too and she wants you to spend some time at her house"

"But I don't wanna" he whined.

"We have no choice Boo you have to go" I said.

My heart was breaking I hated to see my son upset and knowing that I could do nothing about it was even worse.

"I'll see you soon, the day after daddy is on TV then I'll come and pick you up" I told him.

Adrian came over to pick him up again but he clung to my shirt.

"I'll take him out" I said.

I stood up, Boston was still clinging to my shirt. We walked outside and over to Adrian's car. I hugged Boston tightly and kissed him. Then I buckled him into his car seat.

"Be good" I said to him. I kissed him again and then shut the door.

He put his little hand up against the window, I did the same. I could see the tears running down his chubby little cheeks. I watched them drive away, when the car was out of sight I started crying myself.

(Author's Pov)

"Ok Boston we're home" Adrian said ushering the little boy into her home.

Boston just stood there looking around.

"Are you hungry sweetie?" she asked him.

He didn't answer, he hadn't said anything since they had left John's house. Adrian really couldn't fault him because she had taken him out of the only home he had known for the past year.

"I could make you a grilled cheese I remember everyday for a month that is all I made you"

Still nothing… the silence was starting to get to her. If only he would say something.

"I bought you some toys I wasn't sure what you liked so I got one of everything"

He walked over to my coffee table and looked at the pictures.

"Mommy" he said pointing to a picture.

Adrian looked at the one he was pointing at and sure enough it was her sister.

"You are a very smart little boy Boston that is your mom" she said.

Then he got quiet once again.

"Are you tired?" she asked him. "it's late and I have no idea what time John puts you to bed".

He allowed her to pick him up and carry him to his room. She opened the door and turned on the lights. There seemed to be a spark of recognition.

"Redsox room" he said.

"You remember your room?" Adrian asked him.

He nodded.

"Look Auntie even bought you a big boy bed instead of the crib you used to have"

She put him down on the floor and he ran over to his bag. She unzipped it for him and he grabbed his teddy bear.

"Is that Wuvvi?" She asked him.

"Yes" he replied.

Adrian changed him into his PJ's and tucked him in.

"Night Mr. Man" she said turning out the lights.


	10. Chapter 10

_2 Years Later_

Boston and I were playing outside. It was a clear fall day.

"Daddy… bunny" Boston said pointing to a baby rabbit that happened to be hopping through out backyard.

"Don't try to touch it" I said to him.

"I wanna get a bunny" he said.

"No way Boo daddy doesn't like little furry animals in my house" I said.

He pouted a little bit but it was short lived. He was a happy little boy so he didn't stay depressed too long. That and the fact he was spoiled rotten helped.

"So are you excited about coming on the road with me?" I asked him.

"Yep" he replied.

"Your cousin Delilah is going to be there also" I said. Delilah being Randy and Maddie's daughter. They also had a 2 year old son named Jake.

"Daddy, how come Delilah has a brother and I don't?" Boston asked. "you have brothers… I want a brother"

'_Damn for a 4 year old this kid was way too smart for his age.' _I thought.

"Umm… Grandma Mercer and Auntie Adrian are coming over to spend the day wit you so we'd better get you cleaned up" I tried to change the subject.

Adrian had moved back into her and Ashley's childhood home after Lisa (their mother) had a heat attack. This worked out better for everyone because I could see Boston anytime I wanted and the same went for Adrian. Both Adrian and I learned to tolerate each other for Boston's sake. Personally I had no grudge against her, she just didn't like me.

"Ok" Boston agreed.

I let out a relieved sigh. I diverted that one for a little while. I was nowhere ready to commit myself to another person to that extent, the only person I would consider it for was dead.

Boston and I were sitting on the porch waiting, Adrian pulled into the driveway and got out of the car.

"Auntie, Gramma!" Boston exclaimed as he ran to meet them.

"Hey Kiddo" Adrian gave him a hug and I kiss before passing Boston over to her mother.

"Gramma can we go to the toy store?" Boston asked.

Lisa smiled at him.

"No more toys!" I exclaimed from the porch.

"Ma can you bring Boston to the car and I'll be there in a minute?" Adrian asked.

"Ok" Lisa said "Boston say bye to daddy"

Boston gave me a hug and a kiss and then followed Lisa to the car.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Boston told me he wants a brother today" I said "I guess he has a right to want that"

"What did you tell him?" she asked.

"I changed the subject before he got too interested in it"

"You know he isn't done with the subject right?" she asked.

"I know but what can I do, if Ashley was alive I would have thought about it but she isn't and I'm no where near emotionally ready to deal with the hassles of dating and marriage" I replied.

Adrian seemed to be thinking of something. She bit down on her bottom lip.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Ashley had a condition where she had to have a hysterectomy" Adrian explained "but she wanted more children besides Boston so she had some of her frozen… I think she was always hoping you'd get your head out of your ass and get her back and be a family"

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"You said if Ashley was alive you'd consider it well I'm giving you a solution" she said.

"Incase you haven't noticed I'm a guy" I said.

"How did my sister put up with you so long surrogacy stupid" she said.

"So basically what you are telling me is to pay someone who I don't know to carry mine and Ashley's child for 9 months and give birth to it only then to hand the baby over to me" I asked trying to make sure I had heard her correctly.

"Geez it was just a suggestion: Adrian said "no need to bit my head off, I'm not trying to convince you to go either way but think about it this way we both grew up with siblings around so we never knew the loneliness of a being an only child because someone was always there. Then again I'm not saying being an only child is bad… I guess what I am trying to say is that you are the parent so in the end you need to do what is best for yourself and for Boston"

I began to pace "Why does this have to happen to me, why couldn't I just be a man then maybe Ashley would still be alive"

Adrian watched me pace for a few minutes.

"Now listen I may not be your biggest supporter but I do know is that Ashley would be proud of what you have become so stop feeling sorry for yourself and figure out what you are going to do" Adrian said.

"Sure easy for you to say you aren't the one who has to tell Boston he won't be getting a little brother" I retorted.

"I have to go, hopefully when we return you'll be in a better mood" Adrian said.

"Probably not" I called after her.

The thought of having a baby that way seemed so unnatural. But in the end who would have thought that right then and there… that very moment or thought as it would have it would change my life forever.

A/N: Sorry for the totally sucky chapter. But in all fairness I met John Cena today and I am totally scatter brained. He shook my hand and I swear I was going to loose it I was shaking so badly after wards. But it was worth waiting in line 4 hours and 15 minutes. Soooo really not sure where I'm going with this but when I figure it out you'll be the first ones to know.


	11. Chapter 11

A few days later I was sitting in a chair next to Boston's bed just watching him sleep. He looked so much like his mother when she slept. It was then that I realized I missed all his firsts. You know first word, steps… hell I wasn't even there to see him being born. I could never get those moments back not matter how badly I wanted to, maybe Adrian's plan wasn't as crazy as I originally thought. Boston spent most of his time with me on the road it wouldn't be too hard to travel with two kids. All the girls love Boston and they are always offering to watch him, one more shouldn't be too hard. I spent most of the night thinking this out.

"It could work" I finally said to myself.

It was about 4:30 in the morning but by this point I had no comprehension of time. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Adrian's number.

"Hello" Adrian sounded frightened "John is Boston ok?"

"Huh?" I asked. I then snapped out of my thoughts "no he's fine why do you ask?"

"Because it is 4:30 and you are calling me so this makes me think something is wrong with my nephew" she replied.

"No he's asleep I've just been thinking all night about what you suggested at my house" I said.

I could hear Adrian yawn on the other end of the phone.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize what time it was" I moved to the balcony of my hotel room.

"It's no big deal I have to be up in an hour anyways" she said.

"So like I said I was thinking about what you suggested at the house and the more I thought about it the more it seems to make sense"

"Is this the same John I knew a few years ago?" Adrian asked "the one who put his career first and his family second"

"That hurt Addie" I said "I thought we had put the past behind us"

"We may be civil John but it will never really be behind us because Ashley is gone and part of me is always going to blame you"

"So what do we do from here because you can't seem to forgive me?" I asked.

"I don't know John I'm trying to come to terms but every time I think I can I remember that my sister is gone" Adrian said "I know you didn't actually pull the trigger but it feels to me as if you did"

"No matter how many times I apologize it is never going to be enough, you are the only one who still blames me" I ran a hand through my hair.

"Just one question did you love her at all?" Adrian asked.

"Of course I did" I replied "I loved her with everything I had, everyday I was apart from her I wanted to die"

"So why leave?" she asked.

"I was scared" I admitted. "I was scared of what being a father meant, I was afraid of loving someone that much and loosing myself in the process"

"But you lost nothing!" Adrian exclaimed.

"I lost Ashley did I" I contradicted.

"DOn't even get me started on that one" she said annoyed.

"So are you going to help me with this or not?" I asked. It came out a little more harsh than I meant it to but I was annoyed.

"Are you sure about this John?" she asked "because this is a big decision and it's not to be taken lightly.

"I really want this" I said "make it happen"

She hung up the phone and I began to think about what I had just agreed to. This was probably the most important thing I would ever be doing and although I wanted to do this I was scared to death. Being a single parent with one child is hard but two kids that was going to be twice the work but then again I would be getting twice the rewards.

"Daddy" I heard Boston say.

"Boo what are you doing up?" I asked.

"I had a bad dream" he said.

"Well how about we grab some blankets and crash on the couch till we both fall back to sleep" I suggested.

"Ok" he ran back into his room and grabbed Wuvvi and his pillow. I grabbed the blanket and we claimed up onto the couch.

"Boo what do you want to watch?" I asked him.

"I wanna watch Ed Edd and Eddie" he replied.

I groaned now of all of the cartoons out there, my son had to love the most mind rotting one out there. (A/N: No offense to those people who like Ed Edd and Eddie but personally it makes my brain hurt watching it.)

"Boo I don't think that show is on now it's still really early" I said.

We ended up falling asleep watching old Rugrats re-runs. The next morning Boston did not want to get up, gee I wonder where he got that trait from because it wasn't from me. I just opted to avoid a fight so I carried him out in his pajamas. It was a press conference day for the Pay Per View The Royal Rumble and Vince liked everyone there early. I put Boston on the couch and slung my bag on the floor. I went into the bathroom with my cell phone because I didn't want to wake Boston up. But it didn't work out like that because 10 minutes into my call I heard Boston call my name.

"I'm right here Boo" I assured him walking back into the room. I dropped my phone in my bag and went to have a seat next to him.

"Did you wake up and not know where you were?" I asked him.

He nodded and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Boo we need to have a man to man talk" I said.

"I didn't do it" he said putting his hands up in defense.

I laughed "I never said you did anything wrong"

"Ok" he said.

"Did you do something wrong?" I asked.

"Nope" he said with a smug smile.

"Well anyways the other day you mentioned that you wanted a little brother were you serious?" I asked.

"Yes I want some one to play action figures with and to play wrestle" he said.

"But you have friends to do that with" I said.

"But my friends have to go home I want someone who doesn't have to go home so I can play with them all the time" he explained.

"You do realize if you do have a little brother you won't be able to play with him till he is older because he'll be too little to play with?" I asked

"I'm not little anymore daddy I know" he said "I'm 4 not 2"

He sounded so much like Ashley at that moment I had to do a double take. He grinned at me and waited for my response. My response was to tickle him until he begged me to stop.

"So what happens if you get a sister instead of a brother?" I asked.

"I'll still love her" he said.

"You know having a little sister is an important job" I said "it would be your job to make sure she doesn't get hurt and that no boys go near her till she is 25". He laughed.

"I can imagine you standing there with a shot gun" Maddie said.

Both Boston and I looked towards the door way.

"Auntie!" Boston yelled as he went over and gave his aunt a hug.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Joint PPV duh" she said.

"I didn't mean in the arena I meant my locker room" I said.

"I came to see how my favorite nephew was doing and take him to go play with his little cousins" she replied.

"You wanna go play with Delilah and Jack?" I asked him.

"Yeah" he said excitedly bouncing up and down a little.

"Well come on Slowpoke let's go" Maddie said.

"Be good Boo" I said to him.

He waved me off telling me that he had heard my message. I rolled my eyes there was too much of Ashley in that boy. But part of me couldn't help but notice how grown up he was now, maybe it would be good to have another baby to take care of.

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update but my school is trying to kill me with all this work I promise to get the next update sooner. Hopefully when I finish reading the 45 million books I have to read. Ok maybe it's only 4 but that is still a lot.


	12. Chapter 12

"How about this one" I said handing Adrian a file "she already has one child and doesn't drink or smoke"

"I don't think so" Adrian said.

"That is the 7th woman I've liked that you have shot down!" I exclaimed.

"I want to make sure this person is good enough I need to be doubly critical, once for myself and once for Ashley" she said.

"How about this one, she is a teacher and has 2 sons named Jasper and Fiyero" Adrian said.

"What the hell kind of name is Fiyero?" I asked.

"It's from the book Wicked" Adrian said "the prince's name was Fiyero"

"Wasn't Wicked a play?" I asked.

"Yes John but it was a book first" she informed me.

"Ashley dragged me to see that stupid thing, I fell asleep but she seemed to enjoy it" I said.

"She enjoyed it more because the guy who played Fiyero was gorgeous" Adrian commented.

"What! How do you know this?" I asked.

"She told me" Adrian said with a smile "she met him while working at that god awful bar and they went out a few times"

"You just had to tell me that didn't you?" I asked.

"Yeah I did" Adrian said grinning. "I have no idea why my sister stayed with you because she was all about Broadway and musicals and you probably couldn't stay awake for one. Do you know Boston has seen at least 5 Broadway shows and he is only 4"

"Well let's get back to picking out a surrogate please" I said irritably.

"Oh John relax nothing happened between her and Sebastian" Adrian said.

"Great now I know his name thanks" I grumbled.

After about an hour of looking we still had no one in mind.

"Are you this picky with guys too?" I asked amazed that she had turned down 15 women in about 30 minutes.

"I have to be careful" she said "this woman is obviously going to be around Boston"

"Let's face it Adrian no one is going to add up to Ashley"

"I know that John" Adrian snapped.

"I'm sorry that was wrong of me to say that" I said "I know you miss her just as much as I do"

"Well we' not here to analyze me let's finish" she said.

"Ashley used to do the same thing" I observed.

"And what would that be?" Adrian asked.

"Close herself off when she didn't want her feelings known" I said. "I never realized how alike the two of you are until right now"

Adrian had a stray piece of hair in her face so I tucked it behind her ear. I looked into her eyes, they were different from her twins and yet so much the same. Adrian closed her eyes out of fear or instinct I wasn't sure but I wasn't about to kiss her if it was fear. What compelled me to want to kiss her I wasn't sure because we hated eachother.

"What about you" I said.

"Huh?" she replied.

"You are Ashley's twin, why not you" I said.

"I never really thought about it" she admitted. "but I don't know the first thing about carrying a baby"

"How hard could it possibly be?" I asked.

She gave me a look as if to say shut up while you are ahead. Which of course I did because I wanted to give her time to think. Boston walked out of his room and had a seat on the couch between us. He had just woken up from his nap. His hair was all messed up and he was rubbing his eyes.

"Did you have a good nap Boo?" I asked.

He nodded but didn't say anything.

Adrian seemed to be studying Boston. She looked at him for a long while. He noticed her staring at him and flashed her a smile. Her eyes were giving everything away. She was going to agree because no one could say no to that smile… no one.

A/N: To all those Perfection fans 3 new chapters are coming. Just have to have the time to get them out.


	13. Chapter 13

"Remember Cena I am doing this for Boston and in no way do I want you take this as a sign that I like you because I don't" Adrian said for about the 100th time.

"Got cha" I replied.

"Just making sure"

She was lying on a table waiting to find out if she was healthy enough to carry a baby for Ashley and me. It was so quiet in the room … to quiet I began to get antsy and started to hum to myself.

"Stop that" Adrian snapped.

"Ok fine" I said a little offended "gah if this is what you are like without hormones I'm afraid to see what you'll be like with them"

"In about 2 seconds I'm going to send you out of this room" she warned me.

"I'll be good" I promised but it didn't last long.

Sitting in that chair was going to kill me. Without knowing it I began humming again.

"How did my sister put up with you for so long" she moved to lie on her side facing me.

"I have no idea I'd like to think we loved each other" I said.

"Sometimes love isn't enough" she said lying properly.

"How can you say that?" I asked.

"I haven't seen any proof otherwise" she said. Adrian had always been like that she'd doubt oxygen was their if she wasn't forced to breathe it.

"You should try thinking with your heart sometime instead of your head" I said.

"That way of thinking is dangerous" she said.

"What about your parents they loved each other" I pointed out.

"But he didn't love her enough to quit smoking and now look where he ended up" she spat.

"Why do you have to be so negative?" I asked. "not everything has a downside"

"Name one thing that doesn't" she said.

That one was easy. "Boston" I said.

"I have to deal with you" she smirked.

I just shook my head. "Yeah well you aren't much better"

"Never said I was" she said "now be quiet I'm getting a headache".

The doctor came in 10 minutes later. She was a woman who looked to be in her mid-forties but she had a warm comforting smile.

"Well everything seems ok" she said "by the way I'm Dr. Kline, Dr. Davison retired so I'm taking over his patients"

"So when can I have the procedure?" she asked.

They way she said procedure made me uncomfortable but I chose not to say anything.

"I'd say in about a month" the doctor replied. "as long as you stick to the routine that we talked about"

I walked out of the room so Adrian could get dressed.

"Are you nervous?" I asked "I know I am"

"No" she replied looking at the road. "I know what to expect"

"Of course you do" I said beginning to feel foolish.

"Look just because I know what is going to happen doesn't mean I accept it" she said "I always told myself that if I ever wanted children I would adopt because I never wanted to be in that much pain like my sister was"

"So why did you agree?" I asked.

"Because I love my sister and my nephew" she said.

It never occurred to me the sacrifice Adrian was going through for me. Having to carry a child for 9 months and then to give it up cannot be an easy thing to do but then again it wasn't like she was never going to see the baby again. The thought of having something so small depending on me was exciting and scary at the same time. Boston was a toddler when he came into my life so he has some sense of what he wanted and he let me know it. With this new baby I'm going to have to use my best judgment to try to figure out what he or she needs.

"I've been thinking about changing Boston's last name" I said.

"Are you telling me this or asking my opinion?" she asked.

"Opinion" I said.

"I think it is up to you" she said "you are Boston's father if you feel the need to change it then do it"

"Thank you I feel so much better" I replied sarcastically.

"No problem" she shot back.

Adrian dropped me off at home.

"Take care of yourself" I said to her. I wasn't exactly sure why I said it but it seemed right.

She looked a little surprised but she smiled before driving away.


	14. Chapter 14

The "procedure" went well, Adrian was already 2 months along. All hopes of us becoming friends during this whole ordeal were dashed. Adrian liked me even less than she did before if that was even possible. Boston seemed excited, he couldn't wait to be a big brother. It had been hard explaining to him that the baby might not be a boy but he had gotten the message eventually. Everyday he would wake up and ask if the baby was here yet. Finally I got a calendar and circled Adrian's due date and I told him to put and X on the calendar every night and we'd be one day closer to having the baby.

"Daddy how much longer till the baby gets here?" he asked.

"7 months Boo" I replied tucking him into bed.

"When the baby is born I'm going to tell him or her all about mommy" Boston said.

"That's good thing to do because the baby won't have any memories of mommy"

"And I'll give the baby a bottle" he said.

"What about diaper changes" I asked him.

His little face scrunched up. "Diaper changes are yucky I'm not doing that" he said.

"Why I had to change your diapers" I teased him.

"You're daddy that's your job" he replied.

"Oh that's right isn't it" I said. "ok I won't make you change diapers"

"Ok" he said yawning.

"We have some time before we have to worry about this but now it's time for little boys named Boston to go to sleep"

"I love you daddy"

"I love you too" I kissed him goodnight before shutting off the light and leaving the room.

The next afternoon, Boston was outside in the yard kicking a soccer ball around. I was watching him from the window while loading up the dishwasher.

"Boo come in here for a minute" I yelled.

"Yes daddy" he said coming into the house.

"We need to have a man to man talk" I said.

"Am I in trouble?" Boston asked.

"Not that I know of" I replied.

"Ok" he said.

We both had a seat in some of the kitchen chairs.

"You know that me and you have 2 different last names" I said.

"I lave mommy's last name" Boston said proudly.

"Yes you do but the new baby will have daddy's last name and I wanted to know if you wanted to have my last name also" I said "you don't have to it's not going to change anything I'll still love you the same way.

I felt bad to put such a big decision on Boston's shoulders but it was his last name he should decide. He seemed to be thinking seriously about this.

"I want daddy's last name" he said.

"Are you sure?" I asked him.

"Yes" he said.

Looking at him he looked so much older than 4 years old. But then he smiled and stuck his little thumb in his mouth. I shook my head and there was my little boy sitting before me.

The next day I was at my mother's house sitting in her kitchen. She was cooking and Boston was playing videogames with my brother Sean. My mother smiled weakly at me.

"What's up with you?" I asked.

"Can't a mother smile at her son" she retorted.

"Normal mothers can but I've lived with you my whole life, I know there is something in that head of yours" I said.

"I'm just a little worried about this new baby situation" she admitted.

I let out an exasperated sigh, we had been over this before.

"What is bothering you?" I asked.

"It just doesn't seem right Ashley being gone and all" she said "don't get me wrong I'm thrilled to have another grandchild to spoil but knowing you are having your dead ex-girlfriend's child with her twins sister it just seems strange"

"I realize that and I also know that one day this baby is going to ask questions and I'll have to answer them but Ashley's dream was always to be a mother and she always said she wanted 3 children, why shouldn't she get her wish"

"It's your life John you do what you want" she said "newborns are hard work, they cry at all hours of the night and they get sick all the time"

"So does Boston every other week there is something new wrong with him"

"That's different John and you know it" my mother said.

"Well what's done is done and I for one couldn't be more excited about it" I insisted.

I left my mother's house for the first time in a long time frustrated and sad because I needed her support right now and she wasn't giving it to me. If she felt this way then maybe everyone else did too and they just didn't want to tell me.

I got home and put Boston to bed. I just sat there for a moment, I wasn't sure why but I felt an overwhelming sense of betrayal. I picked up the phone and dialed an all too familiar number.

"What John?" Adrian asked picking up the phone.

"Just felt like talking to someone" I said glumly.

"Ok so what's up?" she asked.

"My mother doesn't agree with what we are doing and she let me know just how she felt" I said.

"John you can't expect everyone to agree with what we are doing" Adrian said.

"Families are supposed to support their own" I remarked.

"John I think you are taking this a little too close to heart" she said "it's not like they disowned you"

"Yes but I don't want them thinking my child is a monster either" I argued.

I didn't need to be in the same room with her to know that she was smiling.

"Damn it John now you have made me all emotional" she sniffled.

"How did I do that?" I asked.

"It's just that was the first time you referred to the baby as your child" she said still a little weepy "sorry hormones"

"Its fine" I said "do you think you could tell me a little about when Ashley was pregnant with Boston?"

"I suppose" she said.

"She loved every moment of it although she pretended like she didn't you could tell she did" Adrian remembered. "the whole ordeal brought us closer together. We used to sit up at night for hours talking about what having the baby around would be like"

"She knew she was having a boy from the beginning, I have no idea how she did but she did. She used to walk around with grinning from ear to ear she really wanted to give you a son. She always wanted all boys anyways, girls were toohighmaintenance for her"

"Yeah I remember that" I said. Ashley used to joke around, she said she never wanted a daughter because she would turn out just like her mother. I never saw the problem with that but then again I was just a guy in love.

"She used to talk to him before he was born, she mentioned you a lot never in a bad way but she told him about you and how she hoped he looked just like you."

"She always said she loved you too much to hate you"

"Was I really such a prick that I couldn't see how good my life was" I ran a hand through my hair. The question was rhetorical of course.

"Well I'm tired so I'm going to go to sleep I suggest you do the same" she said.

"Night Addie" I said.

"Goodnight John" she said.


	15. Chapter 15

_I had just pulled into the driveway of my home._

"_Daddy!" Boston yelled running to meet me. I scooped him into my arms and showered him with kisses._

"_Hey Boo I missed you, have you been a good?"_

"_Uh huh" he replied._

"_Looks like a storm is coming" I said carrying him into the house._

_The soft sound of a radio was playing somewhere in the background. The smell of fresh baked cookies invaded my senses. It was good to be home. _

"_Ashley" I yelled._

"_In the nursery" was her reply._

_Walking up the up the stairs to the second floor I walked to the open door way._

"_What are you doing?" I asked._

"_Getting Logan and Sophia's clothes ready for when we need them" she replied._

_I walked over to her hand wrapped my arms around her protruding stomach. I kissed her neck._

"_I missed you baby" I said._

_She turned to face me and stood on her tip toes to kiss my nose._

"_I missed you too" she said._

_I placed a hand on her stomach. I grinned as I felt motion._

"_How are our lovely twins today?" I asked._

"_Fighting with each other you know the usual" she said with a shrug._

_I sighed in contentment I knew that I had made the right decision by supporting Ashley through her first pregnancy. We were married now and expecting twins. Boston ran into the room._

"_Daddy I have to show you somethin" he said. _

"_Ok what?" I asked._

"_He opened his hand to reveal a baby tooth in his palm._

"_He's been waiting 3 days to show you that thing" Ashley said._

"_I'm a big boy now Daddy" Boston said._

"_You sure are Boo" I said._

_That night Ashley was telling Boston a story about Dani California. She claims that she didn't steal the name from the Red Hot Chille Peppers song but we all knew the truth. I was starting a nice warm fire. It was pouring outside._

"_You know if it continues to rain like this all of tonight and tomorrow it'll be raining on Sunday" she said._

_I rolled my eyes. She loved the song Raining on Sunday by Keith Urban, while she was pregnant with Boston and I was home on Sundays we would stay in bed all afternoon but now with an over-active 4 year old running around it was nearly impossible to be done._

"_What did you have in mind?" I asked._

"_I was planning on making love with my husband down by the fire" she replied._

"_Is that even possible you are 9 months pregnant" I said._

"_The doctor said we could be intimate up until I go into labor" she replied._

"_Well in that case" I said gently pulling her down to the floor with me "we'll have to see about this"_

"_One more push Ashley and we'll have a baby" the doctor said._

_The next thing to be heard was a faint cry._

"_It's a girl" the doctor said._

"_Sophia Catherine Rose" I said proudly._

"_Ready for the next one?" the doctor asked Ashley._

_5 minutes later Logan Matthew James Cena was born._

"_Ashley I can't find my lucky wrist bands or my hat" I yelled from our room._

"_I already packed them for you" she said walking into the room with 6 month old Logan asleep on her shoulder._

"_Thanks babe" I kissed her and the baby before grabbing my stuff and putting it into my car._

"_I'll see you in a few days" I said kissing her goodbye. I kissed Boston and the twins. I pulled away watching them wave in the rear view mirror._

_Pulling onto my street all I could see was flashing light and they were in front of my house._

"_Oh my God" I jumped out of my car. _

_I began trying to walk to the front door._

"_Sir you can't go in there" a police officer grabbed my arm so I couldn't continue._

"_This is my house" I yelled._

_Another grim looking officer walked over to me._

"_Mr. Cena?" he asked._

"_Yeah that's me, what's going on and why can't I go into my house?" I asked._

"_Your home was broken into" he said "your wife was the only one home, the invader must have thought no one was home and when he saw your wife he got spooked and let out a shot"_

"_So where is my wife?" I asked "I want to see her, did you take her in for questioning?"_

"_I'm so sorry" was what his reply was._

"_No" I said not believing him "my wife is fine she's inside sleeping"_

_I felt my legs go weak as everything set in, I felt someone's arms trying to steady me. I looked at my father, he had tears in his eyes. There was no denying it. I cried for what seemed like forever._

_He drove me to my mother's house. The first thing she did was hug me then she took me to see the kids. Boston was awake when he saw me he ran to hug my legs. I picked him up and rocked him back and forth._

"_Daddy's got you" I stood there stroking Boston's hair._

_He was shaking pretty badly but then again so was I._

"Daddy" I was awoken hearing Boston's frantic cries.

"It's ok Boo daddy's here" I sat down on his bed and he threw his arms around me.

"I had a bad dream" he said.

"It's ok I'm here" I said "I had a bad dream too"

"Stay here" Boston said.

"Ok"

We both laid down, Boston snuggled close to me and rested his head on my chest. His hand holding onto part of my shirt for dear life.

It had only been a dream. It was all a dream and now I know that no matter what I chose I'd loose her either way it was only a matter of when.


	16. Chapter 16

The 4th of July BBQ was always my favorite event of the year because I could light off fire works and not get in trouble for it. This year was particularly fun because Adrian and Maddie were over so it almost felt like we were young again. The operative word being almost. It was late in the evening and Boston, Delilah and Jake were all in bed. We were sitting around telling stories.

"Maddie you have to remember this one" Adrian said "it was right after Boston was born and you and I were sitting in the kitchen of the old house and Ashley walks in and she sits down and out of nowhere she goes 'Git R Done'"

"I do remember that" Maddie wiped the tears from her eyes. She was crying from laughing so hard "we looked at her like she was an idiot for about 20 minutes. I have to admit she did sound like Larry the Cable Guy though"

"Or what about the time Ashley poured Listerine down Randy's pants?" Adrian said.

Randy cringed that obviously wasn't his favorite memory.

"Why did she do that?" I asked.

"She got pissed at him for something and all of a sudden all you heard was Randy screaming, we thought she had stabbed him" Maddie replied.

"It stung" was all Randy would say.

Maddie, Adrian and I had a laugh at his expense. Randy wouldn't talk to us for the rest of the night.

"Wow that felt weird" Adrian said, a hint of pain crossed her face.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Yeah the baby just kicked" she said.

What worried me was she was 6 months along and should be used to having the baby kick so that wasn't an issue.

"So it ain't like it was the first time" Maddie pointed out.

"No shit Sherlock" Adrian remarked.

"Up your Watson" was Maddie's reply.

"Now like I was trying to say it felt strange because it felt like the baby was kicking me in two different spots".

"Maybe he or she just used both legs" Maddie suggested.

"Or the baby could be babies" I said remembering my dream from about a week before. "Sophia and Logan"

"What do you mean John?" Adrian asked.

"I had this dream the other night" I said as I began to tell them about my dream.

"The dream must have meant something because it felt entirely too real" I said.

"Be damned if I know" Maddie said.

"Be damned if you know anything" I said.

"Shut up Jackass" she said.

"How about no whore"

"Dumbass"

"Bitch"

"Damn straight… I'm not a bitch I'm THE bitch"

"Cocky much?" I asked

"You have no idea" she replied.

I laughed I have to say things seemed to be a lot better than I thought it could be.

"I wonder what Ashley would say if she were here right now" Adrian said.

"She'd tell us to shut the hell up and pass her another Triple Black" Maddie said.

"Well" I said reaching into the cooler grabbing a new beer for both me and Randy "here's to Ashley"

The girls held up their non-alcoholic strawberry daiquiris and we all toasted Ashley.

"We miss you little sister" Adrian said.

I woke up the next morning on my couch. I must have passed out there last night.

"Ugh" I sat up slowly.

Randy and Maddie were passed out on the other couch. I could hear stuff going on in the kitchen so I got up and went to investigate. Adrian was making breakfast in the kitchen. She and Boston were discussing something. I remained in my spot and listened to what they were talking about.

"Mommy visited me last night Auntie" Boston said.

"Really it must have been a really good dream" Adrian smiled at him.

"It wasn't a dream Auntie I was awake. I was thinking about mommy and then there was these blue bubbles and mommy was there"

"Very imaginative Boston" Adrian said putting some scrambled eggs on his plate.

Boston pouted for a minute "I'm not lying and I wasn't asleep" he insisted.

I made my presence known at this time by walking into the kitchen. I ruffled Boston's hair as I walked over to the fridge and grabbed some orange juice, bringing the carton to my lips. Adrian punched me in the arm.

"Don't drink out of the carton you animal" she scolded me.

"This is my house" I retorted.

"I don't care I won't have my nephew learning vial habits' she replied.

I rolled my eyes which earned another sock in the arm.

"Yo now I'm going to have a bruise" I complained.

"Suck it up"

"How did you sleep last night Boo?" I asked Boston.

"I've been meaning to ask you why do you call him Boo?" Adrian asked.

"It's a nickname Ashley gave me and I passed it on to him" I answered.

"Mommy called daddy Boo Berry like the cereal Auntie" Boston chimed in.

"Aww how cute" Adrian mocked me.

"I slept good last night daddy but Jake was being loud" Boston said "he was making sounds like Uncle Boog's car"

Adrian and I both laughed.

"What's so funny Uncle John?" Delilah asked walking into the kitchen.

"Boston was just being cute" I replied.

Lila as we called her was about a year and a half younger than Boston. Her caramel colored skin contrasted her startling blue eyes to give her an almost exotic look. She was all Randy's daughter in the looks department which Maddie was thankful for. She had long dark hair, but unfortunately for her she had inherited her mother's height. She was a peanut standing next to Boston.

Jake took more after Maddie, his skin tone was darker than his sister, his eyes like Maddie's were a chocolate brown. The boy was going to be tall like Randy you could already tell it.

"Lila are your parents up yet?" Adrian asked.

"Not yet" she replied.

"Can you go get them up?" Adrian asked.

"Yep" she was grinning mischievously.

"Can I help Lila?" Boston asked.

"Yeah but come on" she pulled him out of his chair and into the living room.

"Delilah Yasmine Orton what the hell is the matter with you" Maddie yelled.

Boston and Lila walked back into the room giggling.

"We dumped water on them daddy" Boston informed me still giggling.

Sure enough Maddie walked into the room dripping wet.

"The new look works for you Maddie" I joked.

"You know what John kiss my natural black ass" Maddie glared at me.

"OoOoO Auntie said a bad word" Boston said.

"Yes you did mommy" Lila yelled.

Randy entered carrying Jake. He was rubbing his eyes. His hair fell in a wave of nappy curls which were all over the place from sleep.

"Can you take him and I'll make a bottle?" Randy asked.

Maddie took the toddler from him. Jake was still half asleep so he rested his head against his mother's shoulder.

_Later that afternoon _

"John can I talk to you?" Adrian asked.

"Yeah sure" I said putting down my PS2 controller.

We walked into the kitchen so Boston couldn't over hear us.

"Boston and I were talking this morning" she started.

"Yeah I heard, he thinks Ashley came to visit him last night" I said.

"You aren't worried by this?" she asked.

"I'm sure he was just dreaming" I said.

"You don't think … no it's impossible… you don't believe that maybe she did visit him do you?"

"I believe that he believes that she did but no I don't think that it was anything more than a dream"


	17. Chapter 17

My dream was correct I am the soon to be a father to 3 children. Adrian wasn't too excited about the names I picked out for the babies but Ashley had liked them in the dream so I stuck with them.

Boston seemed quiet these days. He spent most of his time playing by himself. I had asked him about it and he had said that he wanted to play with his toys by himself. Sometimes I heard him talking to himself but every time I asked him he'd tell me he was talking to mommy. I was starting to get worried that there was something seriously wrong with him. I took him to a child behavior specialist who said there was nothing wrong with him and that maybe he had an imaginary friend. Now don't get me wrong there was nothing wrong with imaginary friends but this situation didn't seem right.

"Boo it's time for dinner" I said to him one night.

"Ok daddy" he said. He took his normal seat.

"Daddy why is there an extra plate?" he asked.

"I thought mommy could eat with us too" I figured I'd embrace his new imaginary friend "is she in the room right now?"

"No" he said.

"Are you sure she isn't sitting next to me?" I asked.

Boston looked at me for a minute as if to try and see if I had gone insane.

"Daddy nobody is sitting in that chair" he said.

"Where is mommy right now?" I asked him.

"It's a secret I can't tell you" he said.

"Why can't you tell me?" I asked.

"Her bosses will make her go away if I tell you" he said.

Boston was scaring me by this point. No 4 year old could be that imaginative.

"Honey, mommy died she can't come back to visit you" I said to him.

"Yes she can" he said.

"Then why isn't she here right now?" I asked.

"I told you it's a secret" he said.

"Boston cut it out this is nonsense your mother is gone and no matter how much you want her to she can't come back" I yelled.

"No mommy loves me and she does come to see me" he yelled back with tears in his eyes.

"Boston go to your room"

"Fine!" he yelled before stomping off to the room. He slammed the door.

I put Boston's dinner away figuring he'd want it later but he never left his room for the rest of night. I felt guilty for yelling at him so later that night I went to apologize when I got to his door I heard him talking.

"_I don't wanna stay with daddy anymore" he said "why can't I live with you?"_

"_Daddy and Auntie Adrian don't believe me"_

"_I don't want to be a member of this family anymore I just wanna be with you mommy"_

I knocked the door I heard the rustling of the sheets. I went into the room. Boston's back was to me he was pretending to be asleep.

"Boston I know you aren't asleep" I said.

But he said nothing.

"Boo come on talk to me" I pleaded.

Still nothing.

"Fine be that way" I left the room.


	18. Chapter 18

Boston hasn't spoken to me since we had our little fight. Yes my 4 year old son refused to speak to me. Adrian had gone into labor earlier that morning, it was about 3 in the afternoon on June 24th. Adrian was stuck on 4 centimeters for about an hour and a half now.

"I hate you so much" she said as I walked into the hospital room with a bouquet of roses.

"You agreed to it" I said good-naturedly.

"You could have talked me out of it!" she exclaimed.

"And miss all this fun never" I replied taking the seat next to her.

"Now let's talk about Boston" she grabbed my hand and breathed through a contraction.

"There isn't much to talk about he is mad at me and won't talk" I said.

"You need to get him to open up it isn't healthy"

The doctor checked on her a few hours later and there was very little progress.

"You two have a decision to make we can continue this way and wait and see or we can take you up to the OR and have these babies out in 20 minutes"

Adrian opted for the c-section and true to his word Logan Matthew James and Sophia Catherine Rose were born 20 minutes later. Tears were flowing freely down my face as I held Sophia in my arms. She already had a full head of dark brown hair. Both twins looked like their mother that much was obvious from the moment of birth. Each twin weighed almost 7 pounds. My mother brought Boston up to see his new brother and sister, he seemed happy but he still refused to speak to me.

After about a week with the twins he seemed to come around. He stopped mentioning talking to Ashley and things seemed to go back to normal.

I remember being in the bathroom the twins were about 7 months old at the time and all hell broke loose from that moment on. I was in the bathroom shaving when the whole house seemed to erupt with cries.

I ran into the family room, Boston and Logan were both screaming.

"Boo what's the matter?" I asked.

"Logan killed Wuvvi" he cried holding up the decapitated bear.

I picked Logan up from his baby seat and rocked him back and forth.

"I'm sure it was an accident" I said to Boston.

This only seemed to enrage Boston more.

"I hate Logan… he killed Wuvvi and he took my daddy away from me" he yelled before running to his room and slamming the door.

This of course woke up Sophia who had been napping at the time. By the time I got both twins calmed down and asleep I had almost forgotten all about Boston's problem. I picked up the headless beard and placed him on the couch. Boston emerged from his room carrying a back pack.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"I'm leaving" he replied heading for the door.

"Are you planning on coming back?" I asked.

"No" he replied stubbornly.

"Where are you going to go?" I asked.

"I'm going to my old house"

"How are you going to get there?"

"I'll walk"

"Are you sure it's an awfully long way?"

"Yeah I'm sure" he began to walk towards the street.

"Boston that's enough get back into the house" I said.

"No" he continued to walk.

I went and gently grabbed his arm as if to lead him back into the house. I noticed Adrian's car driving by and unfortunately so did Boston.

"Oww Auntie help daddy is hurting me" Boston yelled.

I barely had a hand on him and Adrian knew I would never hurt him. Or at least that is what I thought. I was totally wrong. She stopped her car and got out.

"Let go of him John" she said.

"You know he's lying I would never hurt him" I said letting go of the boy.

"Come on sweetie we're gonna go to my house" Adrian said ushering Boston to the car.

"Adrian what are you doing?" I asked.

"You need to calm down" she said getting back into the car.

"I am perfectly calm" I said "and you just can't take my son like that"

"John go take care of the babies and I'll take Boston for the rest of the day"

I frowned and watched as Adrian drive away. What the hell is going on, my son is out of control and I have no idea what to do to help him.

It was about 8 that night I had called my mom and asked her to keep an eye on the babies while I went to pick up Boston. Adrian answered the door before I even got a chance to knock.

"I've been waiting for you to get here" she said.

"I'm still pissed at you" I said.

"You see what he is doing don't you?" she asked.

"No" I said.

"He is doing it for attention" she said "he is acting out so you'll notice him"

"I give all 3 kids equal attention" I said.

"Well what about Wuvvi, Boston said you picked Logan up and ignored him"

"I didn't ignore him I just told him it was an accident" I defended myself "and I had Wuvvi fixed my mother sewed his head back together"

I showed her the bear and she let me pass her and go to the room where Boston was sleeping. It had once been the room Ashley and Adrian had shared as children. I opened the door and my totally shocked.

"Ashley" I stammered.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: I don't own John or Randy or the WWE. Also I do not own the concept of magical powers that are mentioned in this story they were taken from the show Charmed.

I stood in total shock. How the hell was this possible. Ashley looked at Boston for a minute.

"Duérmase mami de bebé no será distante" she whispered to him. (Go to sleep baby mommy won't be far)

"Te amo a mami" he said. (I love you mommy)

She kissed his forehead before leaving the room. I just stood there watching this whole scene in complete and utter confusion.

"Give me your hand" she said holding out her own.

"But you're dead" was all I could say.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand. To my surprise her hand was warm and instead of going through mine like I had always thought a ghost's would her hand was solid and clasped onto mine. Now what happened next was what really threw me for a loop, there was a jingling noise and then I felt my body go completely weightless and then next thing I knew we were standing on a beach. I chocked as a rush of air filled my lungs.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

"Relax John" she said.

"Are you a ghost?" I asked.

"No John I am not a ghost" she laughed a little at my expense.

"So what the hell are you?" I asked.

"I'm a white lighter" she replied.

"A what?" I asked.

"A white lighter it's like a guardian angel" she explained.

"When I died I went to heaven like I told you in that dream but then one day I was on earth again standing in Boston's bed room and that's when I was told that I was going to be able to go back down and watch over Boston because I was taken from him at such a young age"

"You were never supposed to see me" she said with a sudden alarm.

"I have to go" she said.

"Wait … why?" I asked.

"They know" she said.

"Who?" I asked.

"The elders" she whispered fearfully.

"Who are the elders?" I asked.

"We don't have much time" she said grabbing my hand.

Blue lights flashed around us and once again I was weightless and we were back in Boston's room.

"I wasn't supposed to see you again" she said.

"So what now?" I asked.

"I have to go" she said.

"You can't just leave me like that" I said "we have children together"

"I know and I love you and Boston, Sophia and Logan but I can't stay they know you saw my and I don't want my family to get hurt"

"Please don't leave me again" I pleaded.

"I'll never be far away"

She softly kissed my lips. The she doubled over in pain. I went to go help her.

"No John stay where you are" she ordered.

Then there was that blue light again and she was gone.

"Ashley come back" I yelled.

"Her bosses took her away" Boston sat up.

I hugged him in my arms and kissed his forehead.

"I'm so sorry I didn't believe you" I said.

"Daddy you're crying" He said wiping my tears away.

"Daddy misses mommy" I said.

"I miss her too but don't worry she'll be back" he said.

"How do you know this?" I asked.

"Because I do" he said.

"Boston can you get mommy back?" I asked him.

"I don't know" he said

"Can you try?" I asked.

"They are mad at her" he said "she wasn't supposed to see you it was against the rules"

"Boston why was it against the rules?" I asked.

"Because angels can't love" he said. "mommy is an angel"

"But mommy is different I've seen it they are afraid of her" he said.

"How are they afraid of her?" I asked.

"Because I have nothing to loose" Ashley said.

"What are you doing back here?" I asked.

"They let me come back to say goodbye to Boston one more time" she replied.

"Come on I'll take you both home" she said.

"Do we get to go flying again mommy?" Boston asked.

"Yeah baby" she said.

Boston jumped out of bed and into his mother's arms.

"You coming?" she asked.

"What about Adrian?" I asked.

"She knows she's been letting me visit Boston here for months now" Ashley said. "she also wanted me to tell you which is why she let me get caught"

"It's ok John there is no need to be scared"

"What is that thing you do?" I asked.

"It's called orbing" she replied "It's how we white lighters get around"

"I trust you" I said holding her hand.

We orbed to my bedroom.

"We have to be quiet I don't want your mother to hear us" Ashley said.

"Do you really have to leave?" I asked.

"They are making me" she said looking skywards.

"Ok Slugger be good for your daddy" she said kneeling to Boston's level "that means no more trying to run away or fighting with your brother"

"I promise mommy" he said.

"Te amo" she said.

"Te amo a mami" he giggled.

"Boo where did you learn Spanish?" I asked him.

"Mommy taught it to me" he said.

"White lighters can speak any language" she told me.

"No go to bed Boston" she said

"Ok" he said leaving the room.

"I feel like he knows something I don't" I said.

"He probably does" she said.

"I love you" I said.

"I love you too baby" she said.

She kissed me and I felt her slip something into my hand. The she orbed away. I looked at the piece of paper and there was an address.

"She's living in California" I said.


	20. Chapter 20

"Ma are the kids ok?" I asked walking through the slums of downtown San Fransisco.

"They are fine John but I don't understand what is so important in California that you must randomly take a week off from everything" she replied.

"Just trust me I have to do this" I said "well ma I have to go"

"Be careful John" she said before hanging up.

After about 20 minutes of walking I had finally found what I was looking for. The building was an abandoned store front facing the San Fransisco Bay. I knocked softly not sure what would be inside. A blonde opened the door and pulled me in. She pushed me towards a wall and forcefully shoved her tongue in my mouth. My mind went completely numb I hadn't been kissed like that in quite some time. As soon as I could think rationally I pushed her away.

"Sorry about that" she said. The she waved her hand in front of her face. The blonde woman before me transformed into Ashley.

"How?" was all I could say.

"Another little white lighter trick" she said.

"Now let me see that gash on your arm" she ordered.

"No it's fine" I said.

She grabbed my arm and began to remove the bandages covering the place where my arms had hit a turn buckle wrong.

"Oww that hurts" I hissed as the tape was being ripped off of my skin.

"Baby" she said placing her hands over my now exposed wound. There was a light coming from them now. The pain subsided and now the wound was gone.

"You can heal?" I asked.

"I have so many skills it's ridiculous" she joked.

"So now explain to me are you dead?" I asked.

"Legally yes I am dead but physically I am as alive as you are"

"I want you to come home with me" I said.

"I can't John it's impossible _they_ won't let me" she said looking towards the sky.

"Who are these _they_ people who you are always talking about?" I asked.

"The elders, they are a group of older white lighters who are dead set against love. They think love makes people sloppy and unable to protect our charges"

"Charges?"

"White lighters are assigned charges either witches or other future white lighters" she explained.

"So why do you watch over Boston?" I asked "he's normal"

"Yeah so are magical people I believe you mean mortal"

"Whatever he's mortal" I said.

"Yes he is mortal but most white lighters don't have young children I only know of one other one" she said.

"Why are they so dangerous what would happen if they caught you with us?" I asked.

"They'd kill you and the kids" she replied grimly.

"So why meet me here?" I asked.

"Because this building is enchanted it was once used by The Charmed Ones and the elders can't sense us here" she said.

"The Charmed what?" I asked.

"Never mind magic is beyond your level of comprehension" she said.

"Is that your way of calling me stupid?" I asked.

"No that was me getting you to shut up long enough to do this" she pulled my face close to hers.

We started kissing passionately with less force. Ashley ran her hands up my arms and wrapped her hands around his neck, making their kiss even deeper. I wrapped his arms around her waist and his hands slowly moved lower, and soon I had a firm grip on Ashley's rear. He then picked her up causing her to lock her legs around his waist. I carried her up the condemned stairs to one of the rooms. When I kicked the door open to one of the rooms, surprisingly the bedroom was still intact with only the bed in good shape.

"Talk about your good timing." I said looking back and forth at the bed and Ashley

"Shhh, I want you to make love to me, John.' Ashley whispered

I carried her into the bedroom and kicked the door shut. I put Ashley down long enough to remove my black chain gang t-shirt and let it fall to the floor. When I turned back to face Ashley, she was sporting just a black lace bra and matching lace boy shorts. I picked her up again and walked over to the wall beside the bed. Our kiss was nothing short of fiery and full of nothing but passion and love.

As I sucked gently on the nape of her neck, Ashley dug her finger nails into my back and let out a subtle moan. Once we were both undressed and in the bed, Ashley was on top of me, slowly moving up and down on me. Both of our eyes closed, enjoying the pleasure each was inflicting on the other. Then I flipped Ashley over and she again locked her legs around his waist as he slowly moved in and out of her. Our moans grew louder as their climax grew to a boiling point.

I started going faster and harder which made Ashley grip my back even more. We both climaxed simultaneously and I rolled off of Ashley and lay beside her. Ashley laid her head on my chest as he wrapped his arm over her shoulder. There Ashley was lulled to sleep by the sound of my heart beat and I soon followed.

The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face. I went to wrap my arm around Ashley's sleeping form but she wasn't there. This got me to thinking that it was all a dream. But I noticed I wasn't in my own bed and also that I wasn't wearing any clothing. Now I know some female fans like to say that I sleep naked but the truth is I don't. I noticed a silhouette by the window.

"Ashley what are you doing?" I asked her.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Thinking" she replied.

"About what?" I asked wrapping a sheet around myself.

"You and the kids" she said "I don't want to leave you"

"So don't" I urged her.

"I have to if anything happened to you or the kids I would never forgive myself"

"I want to kick these shit heads in their balls for trying to control my life like this" I said clenching my fists.

"Shh baby don't talk like that we have a little more time let's spend it without worrying about what is going to happen in the future"

That week I don't think we ever left the bed for more than 10 minutes at a time. It was a sad goodbye but we would always have that week to remember.


	21. Chapter 21

Ashley's Pov

I was summoned to magic school, before I even orbed in I knew I was in trouble. I arrived in Leo's office and took my normal military stance with one arm behind my back. Leo looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

"They are really furious with you" he said softly.

"I'm not going to apologize for loving my family" I said.

He smiled weakly before leading me into "the lion's den".

"Did you really think we wouldn't find out?" the lead elder Roland asked.

I knew enough to hold my tongue at this moment even though I didn't want to.

"You were one of the good ones and you had to risk everything for a roll in they hay" he said.

"Roland give her a chance to speak" Leo reasoned.

"Fine go ahead"

"I am not going to apologize for my actions, I never asked for this higher calling it was thrusted upon me, and you give me this stupid stipulation that I couldn't see the man I love… you say you are all about the higher calling but it all reality you just get off knowing that you people pain… furthermore what makes you any better than the evil we fight at least they admit that what they are doing is wrong" I yelled.

"We will not stand here and take this defiance from the likes of you, you had your orders and you made your choice now you must suffer the repercussions"

There was a large swirl of blue orbs and when they subsided there stood John and the kids.

"No" I yelled "do anything you want with me but please don't hurt them"

"Ashley what's going on where are we?" John asked.

Boston tried to run to me but it was like there was an invisible wall between us.

"Mommy" he cried.

"It's ok baby mommy's here" I tried my best to calm him.

"You had your chance" Roland said.

I could see the fear in John's eyes and it frustrated me that I could not stop this.

'I love you' John mouthed to me.

Tears were running down my face "I love you too"

"Roland please let them go they are innocents, they have done nothing wrong" I pleaded.

"Take her away" Roland ordered.

"No" I lunged at him but Leo held me back.

"Leo let go at me" I yelled hysterically.

"I hate you" I screamed at Roland.

I fought as hard as I could to break Leo's hold on me but he was too strong.

"Please Roland" I pleaded with the last source strength in my body.

Roland looked coldly at me "I said take her away"

I blacked out then. I awoke sometime later in Leo's office, the suffocating wave of guilt hit me all at once.

"How could you let them do that?" I asked Leo coldly "how would you like it if it was your family… your wife or Wyatt or Chris … how could you stand there and let them kill the only people who matter to me"

"Calm down Ashley" Leo said in a soothing tone.

"How the fuck can I calm down" I yelled.

"You aren't helping John or your kids any by provoking Roland" he said.

"I won't stop till I see every elder dead" I spat coldly.

"Not all the elders agreed with Roland's decision and that is why your family wasn't killed" he informed me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Your family is alive they were sent to a different reality" Leo said.

"I have to get them back" I said.

"I figured you'd say that and I know who can help you" he said.

"The Charmed Ones" I said before orbing out.

"Good luck" Leo whispered.

I orbed into the attic of the most famous house in all the magical world. A little boy barreled into the room.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Ashley and you must be Wyatt, I'm a friend of your daddy's"

"Are you sad?" he asked.

"I am a little" I admitted "I have a son about your age and I miss him very much"

"He misses you too"

"Wyatt how many times have you been told not to hide in the attic" a pale looking girl with long black hair stopped when she saw me.

"Wyatt force field" she yelled.

Wyatt laughed "Auntie Paige this is my friend Ashley"

"If I wanted to hurt him I would have done it by now. I'm a friend of Leo's, he sent me here… I need your help"

"What kind of help?" Paige asked.

"The elders took my family away and now I want them back" I answered.

"Let me go get my sisters and you can explain" Paige exited the room.

"What's your son's name?" Wyatt asked.

"His name is Boston and I also have another son and daughter but they are still babies but their names are Logan and Sophia"

" I have a little brother too his name is Chris" Wyatt said excitedly "when your son comes back we can be friends"

"I think he would like that very much" I smiled at him because he reminded me very much of my little boy. Paige was just now returning with her two sisters.

"Wyatt sweetie why don't you go play in your room so we adults can talk" the one of the sisters said.

"Ok mommy" Wyatt said before orbing out of the room.

"Ashley these are my sisters Phoebe and Piper" Paige introduced them.

"Normally my greeting would be a lot friendlier but right now all I want is my family back" I said.

"So when I woke up Leo sent me here" I said finishing the story.

"When will the elders learn" Piper asked rhetorically.

"Can you guys help?" I asked.

"Anything to get back at the elders" Piper said "they have had far too much fun ruining people's lives.

"Thank you" I said.

"I'm going with you" Piper informed me "that's the only way you can return home"

"Alright" I agreed.

Piper took my hand and the three sister began to chant.

_Torn between two worlds divide_

_Two yearning hearts wish to reunite_

_Send this lover to her match_

_Let them be whole once again _

There was a swirling sensation and then everything went black. The next thing I knew we were standing in front of John's house.

"Babe I'm leaving for work" John yelled standing before the open front door. I had to suppress the urge to run to him.

I looked at him funny because he was wearing a suit and tie, carrying a briefcase.

"Is that him?" Piper asked.

I was startled for a second I had almost forgotten she was there.

"Yeah" I whispered.

A tan woman with brown hair and eyes wrapped her arms around his neck. I blinked a few times. Who the hell was this chick and why did she have her arms around him?

"I'll be home late tonight Abby so don't wait up" he kissed her lips.

"Do you think you can freeze them?" I asked.

She looked around her before raising her hands and freezing the two adults. We walked past them into the house.

"Mommy I need you" Boston said running into the living room.

"Boston… my baby boy" I picked him up and hugged him tightly.

He looked frightened when I put him back down.

"Mommy there's a stranger in the house" he yelled.

"Boston it's me I'm your mommy" I said.

"My name is Andrew not Boston and you are not my mommy" he said.

My heart fell my baby didn't know me.

"Ashley we need to go" Piper urged me "the freeze is going to wear off"

"Not without them" I said.

"We need to go"

"This is my family" I yelled.

Piper got frustrated and blew up a flower vase. Boston's eyes got wide.

"Can you do that again?" he asked excitedly.

"Andrew"

"We need to roll" Piper said.

I reluctantly orbed out. We were standing once again outside the house.

"Where are we going next?" Piper asked.

"To get the love of my life back" I replied.

"How are you going to find him?" she asked.

"Well he was carrying a briefcase and wearing a suit and tie so what jobs fit that description" I pointed out.

"He was also carrying a law book" she said.

"John a lawyer" I laughed a little to myself "who would have thought"

"Why what is his real job?" she asked.

"Professional wrestler" I answered.

"Wyatt is going to love you even more he's a big fan of professional wrestling, his favorite is the rapper guy"

"Piper the rapper guy is the one we are trying to find" I said.

"Ouch not good"

"You think" I shot back.

"Well there are only 3 law firms near this area and then we'll move onto Boston" I said.

The first 2 law firms had no leads but we got lucky with the third. The actual building was small and in bad need of a new paint job. Piper and I walked inside, it wasn't any better than the outside. The reception area was small and filled with mismatched chairs. The paint on the walls was cracked and peeling and the ceiling looked like it had seen better days. A young man in his mid-20's sat behind then desk. His hair was black and shaved at the sides leaving the front long and pushed into his face. He wore gages in his ears and was dressed in normal gothic punk style.

"Well… well up before noon what a surprise" the man said to me.

"Lucas" I asked in surprise.

"If you are here to borrow money then forget it I'm still waiting for the money you owe me from last time" he said.

"…umm no I'm here to see John" I said.

"He's with a client" Lucas said "go sit over there"

I was offended by Lucas's rudeness.

"Who's he?" Piper asked.

"My younger brother" I whispered.

"Seem friendly" she said sarcastically.

"He usually is, in our world he works at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston and let's just say that is not the way he dresses"

"Well if it isn't my twins sister the crack whore" Adrian said walking out of an office.

"What the hell did you just call me?" I asked standing up from my chair.

"I'm sorry you prefer the term _"exotic dancer" _ don't you?"

"You say what…" I know she did not just call me an exotic dancer.

"I'm not loaning you money"

"What the hell I'm here to see John not to borrow money from anyone!" I exclaimed.

"Whose the chick another one of you junkie buddies?" Adrian asked.

"Adrian go in the other room and screw yourself because you'll be a lot less bitchy" I retorted.

"You do that enough for the whole family"

Piper holding onto my arms was the only thing stopping me from punching Adrian in her smug face. John walked out of his office smiling but his smile turned into a frown upon seeing me.

"Mrs. Johnson just do what I told you and call me in a week" he said to his client.

"Hey John" I said.

"Ashley what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came here to see you" I said "can we talk in private?"

"Sure come into my office" he said somewhat unsure.

Piper and I walked into the office. John closed the door behind us.

"I must say you are looking well" he said "real clothes work for you"

"I'm here to take you away" I said right to the point.

"We have had this conversation before Ashley I'm not leaving Abby and the kids for you" he sighed.

"John you don't understand" I started but he cut me off.

"No Ashley you don't understand you've been doing this since high school I'm not your little puppet anymore"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I loved you at one time but when you had the abortion that killed our child you crossed the line… I'm married now and I'm not leaving Andrew, Jessie and Sarah to be with you" he said "I'm happy now and if you truly loved me you'd let me be"

I was stunned by his words the last part especially.

"You are right John I'm sorry" I said.

Both Piper and John looked surprised.

I walked over and hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Take care of yourself and kiss the kids for me"

"What are you doing?" Piper asked me as we were walking out of the building.

"It's for the best I can't be with them" I said.

Was it really for the best I wasn't sure…

The End.


End file.
